Monday, December 29, 2014

Seitan, I'll Never Quit You Again!

So Quinoa and Seitan are two foods I struggle hardcore with cooking. No matter how I prepare quinoa it is a soggy, unappetizing mess. Here's what really annoys me about this dickish little seed, one time I attempted to make a quinoa porridge, so that the sogginess would be fine. Well, that porridge was a dry, uncooked abomination that really I should never speak of again. And I have tried what I feel like is every recipe/suggestion out there. The quinoa that is in my cupboard now has been blended, and turned into quinoa flour, to be used in facial masks. Quinoa has tons of nutrients that are great for the skin, such as vitamin a , and lysine which is necessary for your skin to produce collagen.
Seitan is another food that seems so simple, and looks so easy and delicious, yet no matter who's recipe I follow, it's always a letdown. But I like seitan, when it's made by anyone else. It really frustrates me when I make batch after batch of too soft, too hard, not enough flavor, and so on and so forth. Well, I made one last attempt at seitan, to use up the wheat gluten flour that was lingering in the back of my fridge, and I made the best seitan I have ever had in my life yesterday, made by little ole ME!! I'm not sure if I'm allowed to write the recipe, but I think I can, as it was on Twitter, and it was posted in The Vegan Chat Room, and I believe the recipe is from The Fat Gay Vegan. I hope I'm not breaking any rules, or being obnoxious, but I have to spread the news of this seitan, for anyone else who has struggled, we have been saved!! I knew right away from the texture, and smell of the dough that I was close to success. The recipe is super simple, as is the prep and cook.
1cup vital wheat gluten
3 tbls. nutritional yeast
1/2 cup water
1/4 C. soy sauce
1 tbls. E. V. olive oil
juice of one lemon. (I forgot this ingredient. oops it was still amazing)
3 cloves of garlic ( I used 1 tbls. of garlic powder, which in my opinion worked fine)
Stir all ingredients until a dough is formed, and then knead gently for three minutes. The dough is perfect, not to squishy and wet, not too dry.
For the broth, the recipe calls for eight cups of veg broth, mixed with 1/4 C. soy sauce. I used eight cups of water, and a veg cube to make my "broth". Let the broth mixture come up to a boil, then lower it down to a simmer, break the dough into pieces whatever size you would like, and let simmer for thirty minutes, uncovered. Then, turn off heat, put a lid on the pot, and let the seitan sit in the broth for another fifteen minutes. Then you have perfect seitan, ready to be crisped up. I sliced up two of my pieces and sautéed them in some coconut oil, and man what a treat. It passed taste, and texture. I will never attempt another seitan recipe again. And these little seitan pieces are blank slates for whatever additional flavorings, sauces you want to add. They do need to be crisped up, as they come out of the broth a little soft, and dare I say brainy? They would be very scary to a skeptical non-vegan.
Today I'm going to marinate some of the pieces in a buffalo style sauce and make Seitan wings!
If you are like me, and feel like you just don't have what it takes to make seitan, please don't give up, try this recipe first!!
Still no sign of Robin. Tomorrow it will be a week since he ran for the hills. It's still pretty mild for winter in the snow belt, but temps are dropping. Where are you Robin???
If you also cannot cook quinoa, you can make quinoa flour in the blender, just like oat flour with oatmeal. It takes a little longer, but within a minute or so you will have quinoa flour, for gluten free baking, or anti aging face masks! Just mix quinoa flour with bananas (also GREAT for skin), or avocado, put some green or white tea bags on your eyes, and in ten or twenty minutes(depending on how much time you have) you will look like a fresh faced you!

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