I have of course gone on about the extreme racism and xenophobia I notice any time I have the audacity to be in public in this quaint city/town I live in, but when I first moved here, and hadn't yet interacted with many people, I noticed kind of an unhealthy pallor to a lot of people, and definitely a more unpleasant energy in general. I remember knowing almost immediately that something had gone awry in my life. If anyone watched Lost(one of my absolute hands down favorite shows ever!!) and remembers when they came home from the island, and everyone thought Jack was insane, because he kept saying they made a mistake leaving the island? Well. I was Jack pretty much right away. Unfortunately, my first impression was correct, there's just an unhappiness that is so palpable, it almost can suffocate you. And I'm including people who have "the American Dream", married, kids, money, a house, all the bells and whistles. And it doesn't even seem to be keeping up with the Jones's, it's more of just a lack of any kind of inner peace or happiness. That's why I type away like a freak in a dark corner about any thing positive, because it's shameful to strive for happiness outside of booze, church, or shopping. I should be embarrassed for being so selfish to want to be healthy and happy, besides, they make pills for all that shit. I kind of feel like I'm in a demented high school, where no one ever leaves, and all of the cool kids are taking horrible care of themselves, and Pure unhappiness is the ultimate goal.
I say all of this to say that I have been doing a very unscientific study, but I think I am on to something. I have been glancing in people's shopping baskets and carts for awhile now, and it is truly shocking to me how little fresh produce I see in people's carts! I'm not even really coming so much from a vegan perspective, because from everything that I know, and everything you see EVER, everyone needs fruit and veg. I'm actually impressed that the grocery stores even have produce sections. And I look at the alleged food that is served at my job, and it's so brown! The only color is if someone has lettuce on their burger. Even our salads are smothered in fries, cheese, and meat. I feel that I sound like the produce police, and for that I'm sorry, but I truly believe that when you don't give your body the proper nutrients it was made to need, and you maybe just take a multi-vitamin, and an anti-depressant, your not fueling your body, and I feel it results in not feeling well, and when you don't feel well, it's hard to be happy. I know that a lot of depression, and general sour pussedness naturally disappeared in myself when I simply started feeding it, and even more so when I increased my fruit and veg intake. Like I said, my "study" is very unscientific, but I am basing my Lack of Nutrition = Nasty People study on many observations of the food shopping, and eating habits, and conversations with people. You would not believe the number of people I've talked to who have never even eaten an avocado!! I mean, not even guacamole I've asked, and the answer is no. It's so strange. And on a strange side note, I have never met so many people who loathe water, and refuse to drink water. But they pound the hell out of some coffee and booze, yikes!
I have deprived my body of all nutrition, and I have abused both alcohol, and nicotine, and I know I was so sick, and I didn't even know it. The toxicity flowing through your body feels normal, and you don't even really realize you're so unhealthy. Although I'm not where I want to be on the happiness spectrum, I am so grateful that I caught myself, and I am moving towards, not away from health and happiness.