Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Gray, Grey, Slate

This is the time of year when a lot of people take stock of their lives, and vow to make changes. I know lots of go to the gym, stop smoking, eat healthy type of resolutions are made, and very quickly broken. And I know from my own personal experience how reverting back to old, unhealthy ways not only takes it's toll on you physically, but also mentally. And then it become an endless stream of numbing your anger at yourself in more negative ways.
I wanted to share something I've come to realize that has really helped me on my own journey. It doesn't have to be so black and white. If you TRULY want to stop, or start something, it might not be a smooth journey. You might have setbacks, and fall into your old ways, and that is normal. We are creatures of habit after all. When I really knew I was ready, and wanted to be done with my eating disorder, for the first year, I had a few binges, and instead of admitting defeat, and going backwards,(which I had done in the past) I woke up the next day, and continued to live my life as a recovered bulimic. It naturally worked it's way out, because I let it. I didn't want to be bulimic anymore, so I didn't use those temporary setbacks as an excuse to go back to my old ways.
Something a lot of people I've known do is get a membership at a gym, and go hard for a good month, and then one week comes where they are busy, and don't go, and then next thing you know one week turns into a year. Then the cycle continues the next New Year, I swear, gyms, and organic, healthy food companies must LOVE the month of January. Ha. But, you don't have to go everyday, for a whole hour. It's okay if you miss a week for whatever reason, just ease back into it. I also try to tell people how many amazing workouts are on YouTube, which means you can fit your workouts to your schedule. You could do half in the morning, half in the evening. But again, I feel the difference is when you really are ready for change, versus just saying it. You have to be ready to do the work, whatever change it is that you want to make.
If you really, really want to make improvements, just don't let anything stop you. If you fall, don't quit, just get up, hold your head up, and keep going. Habits are like old friends who have become toxic, but are still kind of fun. They are hard to give up, even when you are so ready. But something my journey has taught me is feeling good, and doing good can become a habit if you have the patience to let it become a habit. The way coffee and countless cigarettes used to get me going for the day, is now replaced by soothing green tea, blogging, and yoga. (And a little TMZ, I'm only human) And I feel so much happier. I can't believe that's how I used to nourish my body in the morning.
I feel like you have to give yourself three months at least to fully benefit from healthy changes. When I quit smoking cigarettes, it took at least three months before I could be around a smoker without wanting to steal their cig and smoke my way to chemical bliss.
What I'm really trying to say, as someone who has quit a lot of bad habits, and started a few good ones, is that it really can be done. And just don't let setbacks set you all the way back. Every person who has made changes has had setbacks, I don't care what anyone says. And there is no kind of love like self love. I kind of hate myself for saying that, it sounds so corny, but it is so true. And the body responds so well to kindness, and in turn everything works as it should.
Self love for 2015!!

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