This is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. I don't even want to write it, but I may be silent for awhile, and I always wonder and worry when people go silent, so I wanted to give an explanation.
I lost my best friend ever on Thursday night. For anyone who remembers Dylan had some health issues when I first moved back to Seattle, and ever since he has had good and bad days. But this past week his health rapidly declined. He wouldn't eat, and on Thursday afternoon he couldn't take more than five steps without collapsing. he was also meowing/crying out, and just no longer seemed to be comfortable at all. Even though I knew deep down I had limited time left with him, this all happened so rapidly I wasn't really prepared. I don't know how to live in a world without Dylan. I almost don't remember life before him, and I have no interest in a life after. I can't imagine ever sleeping in my bed again. He was in my bed for seventeen years. I've spent all of my life single, with a few serious live -in relationships here and there, but it's mostly been me and Dylan.
In case no one has noticed I don't talk a lot of family and that's because I don't have too many good stories, and to say my family is shattered is being mild. It's pretty much me against the world. Dylan was my family.
I can hardly breathe or think straight right now, and it's like I have grey glasses on. I have so much to say, but I can't say it. I haven't even fully accepted this. I want to delete this post, because this is making it more real.
I don't know when I will be back. I am taking things minute by minute. I feel paralyzed and just everything bad.
Seventeen years is both a long time, and not nearly long enough.