Friday, January 23, 2015

It's Okay to like Feeling Groovy

So a co-worker just sent me a text informing me that the "chef" at my job is in the hospital suffering from some issue with his pancreas. He's been in since yesterday. This person has been sick with some form of cold, ear infection, bronchitis, flu type of thing since I can remember. I'm talking months, no exaggeration. This person also easily weighs at least five hundred pounds, and I suspect it's much higher. He also chews chew, drinks, has a love affair with hostess snacks, drinks mountain dew and monster energy drinks like his life depended on it. He also has a severe gambling addiction, and is a very toxic person. He gets so agro when working, he will threaten to punch you in the face, murder you, and so on and so forth. My stomach twists into a thousand knots when I have to return something a customer doesn't like, or ask a special request, because I know I'm going to get a verbal ass kicking. His toxicity is just so evident in every aspect of his life. I have never heard him talk of anything fun, pleasurable, joyous, FUN. I always assumed he would have a heart attack. He's only 41 years old, but between his weight, and how angry he gets, it's just a recipe for disaster.
I have never experienced so many people with poor health, as I have at this club, and in this city as a matter of fact. I'm talking about young and old people. I honestly don't know anyone who isn't on some sort of anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, antibiotic, anti something. And the most puzzling/frustrating thing is how it's just widely accepted that "this is just what happens". I feel like I'm living way in the past, except everyone is using a smartphone, and instagramming, and facebooking their lives away. One day one of my co-workers was "sick" with some kind of ailment. As she was whining about her various aches and pains, it came out that she and a girlfriend  had drank like three or four bottles of whine the previous night. I asked if maybe she thought she was hungover. Her answer was no, she doesn't get hungover, they really didn't drink that much(!), and she was sure it was the flu or whatever.
But I am digressing, back to our "chef". This is to me a clear example of the disastrous effects of being unhealthy. I wonder if he was ever happy, if he ever had hopes and dreams beyond serving instant mashed potatoes to people who lost their taste buds to tobacco years and years ago. Since I have worked with this person, he has talked a few times about how life would be different if he didn't gamble, but at the same time, he seems very unwilling to do any work to change things. He talks often of hoping to die young, and such. He always kind of says it in that hardy har, we're just funning type of tone, but I've always believed him to be serious. It's hard to have any will to live when you feel like shit every day of your life, and your body is slowly shutting down from the inside.
I guess I'm saying ALL of this to say, don't let unhappy, toxic people bring you down. I'm saying this to myself, as well. That's something in my manifestation journal. I want to not be stronger, and not allow myself to get pulled down by people who are not on my journey. Often times the most cynical, naysayers are the ones who want everyone to be miserable like them. In some cases, they aggressively choose to believe that we are just victims, we can't do anything about anything, so anyone who tries, or chooses to see the brighter side of life is stupid, and annoying, and must be brought down. Every single person who has been rude to me, teased me, eye rolled, nay sayed, etc. has been sick, hospitalized, medicated in some way, and I will never get the time back I have spent listening to aches and pains. So, if you get teased, just sit back and consider the source. It's taken me a long time, but I'm finally realizing, those people are assholes. I've been on the losing end of health, and I like waking up every day feeling well rested, and clear headed. I like feeling like my body and mind are strong, and well taken care of.
The cover of my manifestation journal says it all.. " Kindness Gives Birth To Kindness"- Sophocles
When you're kind to yourself, it is so  much easier to be kind to others. You want to spread it, you want everyone to feel good.

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