The body is really an amazing thing. It adapts to it's surroundings, and in most cases finds a way to function. When I was smoking, drinking, not eating or sleeping correctly, and bingeing and purging multiple times a day, my body adapted, and somehow I was able to function, and work, have a social life, squeeze in yoga here and there, and I guess function. It's pretty amazing, and what's more amazing is how you get used to feeling like crap, and that is just how you live. If anyone has ever been abusive to themselves for any period of time, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. When you start sleeping, and giving it nutrients, and stop flooding it with a bunch of chemicals and toxins, you just can't believe you ever didn't live this way. I could never imagine drinking and smoking night after night, and I can't ever imagine being in the bingeing and purging cycle again. I now have a new appreciation for my body, not to mention the utmost respect, because it has held up pretty well, and has definitely treated me better than I have it. And part of my "loving myself" regime has been increasing the intensity of my workouts, which has made me feel stronger, and prouder of myself than I can ever remember. Even though I am not as thin as I would like to be, I can feel my muscles working, and I can feel each muscle doing what it's supposed to do. It's like so much of my life was spent not giving an eff about myself, and hating my body, feeling my body work and feeling good are such strangely wonderful feelings, and I want to encourage anyone I can to feel the same thing, because it's great. Being able to appreciate my strength and my body even though I don't have "the bod" is what helps me deal with toxic people and negative remarks without bingeing and purging, or drinking to cope.
I feel very strongly that keeping our minds along with our bodies is really important. For me, when I see people who just seem to radiate health and happiness, they are always people who are mindful of both. And I'm not talking about working out for vanity, I'm talking about working out and feeling that hum your muscles get when they're moving and grooving, not to mention the endorphin rush! As someone who has a well rounded knowledge of various highs, I can say endorphins are one of the grooviest! And if you can't afford yoga classes, or a gym, I've mentioned it before but seriously, YouTube has an endless supply of probably any kind of workout you can imagine. I love working out, but the thought of doing so in a public gym does not appeal to me. I have done tours of various gyms, and it always comes back to no. I have taken yoga classes at yoga studios, and definitely enjoyed it, but it's not in my budget. I guess what I'm saying is that there is a workout option for everyone. I promise if you are in a rut, if you truly want to feel better you can, and it doesn't have to be hard, or a big deal. If you start giving your body what it needs, it will flourish, and you will look back on those toxic days wondering how you were ever so mean to yourself. And I never thought I would be able to accept myself not being thin. It is amazing.