Have you ever had one of those days where you just can't shake the blues, and the universe seems to take a certain amount of joy in messing with you? Well I have had one of those weeks. I have had a couple of things happen which while not horrible tragedies, they kicked me down a bit. And not really having any kind of support system has made things a bit more challenging.
What gets to me the most is that along with the couple of bad things, I did have one personal goal that I met, and it pulled me out of my funk, but it didn't really sustain me, because I had no one to celebrate with, no one who would say something encouraging.
I tend to hold my true feelings very much to myself, especially about certain more painful parts of my past. I think that a lot of people sometimes hold in their sad feelings for various reasons, even people who have a support system. So for the most part, I'm okay keeping my sad feelings inside, what is kind of killing me is not knowing one person who will say anything nice about any accomplishment I might have made.
I guess this reminds me of one of my very early posts where I wrote about The Shame of Happiness. I feel ashamed for doing anything to take care of myself, or anything in the pursuit of happiness. It can be challenging for me, as I have been known to douse my feelings with alcohol and nicotine in the past, and sometimes I do get that screw it feeling. I haven't even touched alcohol in months, and I don't even want to drink, but damn at least a couple of beers would celebrate with me.
I have to work at my serving slop job tonight and I can very safely say that it will be an energy drain. But I've already planned a detox weekend. I plan on taking a detox bath with ginger and Epsom salts, which by the way is amazing if anyone is curious. You can use freshly grated ginger, or powdered ginger, I use 1/4 cup of freshly grated, and 2or 3 tablespoons of powdered. And I use about a handful of Epsom salts. If you feel a little something coming on, it will really help. And, your skin will feel so amazing I promise. It's a cheap healthy way to pamper yourself. In addition to my bath, I will be making my favorite face mask involving a turmeric, spirulina paste. I had some powdered spirulina that I just could not tolerate the taste in my smoothies, and I didn't want to waste it so I found a great recipe for a mask, and I love it! It is a very scary color when on your face, but it makes your face glow! And I am going to do lots of yoga, and playing with kitties, maybe I'll even get Robin to let me touch him! HaHa.
I hope that I am able to reclaim my happiness, and I hope I can learn to be stronger, and not let negativity bring me down. And today I am going to compliment and encourage anyone I can today. We all need a high five every now and then.