Wednesday, July 30, 2014


As I wrote yesterday, I live in a town full of isms. I also live in a town that is full of hunters and people who love guns. When I first moved here, I could not watch the news, because I couldn't  believe how many gun shootings went on here, and I was starting to really develop a fear of leaving the house. As I started meeting people and having conversations, I became completely shocked and depressed when I learned the amount of racism, and because I am a woman I have never dealt with such overt sexism. I mean it is everywhere, and it is accepted, and it is the norm. And when I mention to anyone that racism or sexism is not acceptable, I get dirty looks, or looks of shock that I am so upset.
Something else I've noticed is a general lack of compassion. Even when people are talking about their friends, or family members going through hard times, there's a lack of compassion, however they are down with getting drunk with someone to "wash away the sorrows."
Drinking is also the number one activity. I am still shocked by the amount of bars in this city/town. In my neighborhood alone, there are four bars I can think of. And there are at least ten or more bars around me within a two mile radius. And it's like that all over this place. And people still drive drunk, which is a whole other rant! And most of these bars open in the a.m. and are open till two a.m.! And people go to these bars! I know, I've worked at a few. I would personally never drive a car here, as it seems like the roads are always filled with drunk drivers.
I know when I drank a lot, I was less compassionate. I think alcohol allows you to have somewhat of a hard shell. It allows you to care less, have more of a who gives an eff, or what can be done kind of attitude. Trying to change something would interfere with unhappy hour. And I know alcohol makes you irrational, and angry. The racism and sexism and general hatred for anything different comes from their own choice to be ignorant.
When I see so much contempt and lack of compassion for humans, and I see these people who take a genuine  joy in hunting beautiful wild animals who are innocent, not to mention peaceful, I feel very hopeless, and all I see is the ugliness of life. I want to hulk out and run down the street kicking people's asses and destroying this good for nothing city. I'll build hulk's ark, and take all the animals out of this dump, and let the humans and their hate wander around like hate filled zombies.
I think the fact that the nobody ever leaves and nobody new ever comes to this city, all this negativity just is stagnant, and nobody knows any better, and what's worse is that they don't want to know any better. I'm always leery of people who don't want to learn and grow. Those kind of people usually come with a big bag full of toxic energy.
What I'm struggling with the most is that as a woman, if these ignorant men want to be gross, I'll live.
But all of the people in the world who for whatever reason choose to eat meat, animals are dying. I do try to focus on the positive to keep my sanity, and I know that veganism is gaining momentum, or at the very least an awareness of eating less meat, and I know that things are changing, but unfortunately, as I am reminded daily things are also not changing. And that there are people who truly will fight change every step of the way.
Today I can only think of one thing I'm grateful for and that is Compassion. And if I could serve up any outbreak onto humankind, it would be compassion, and the ability to see what kind of changes we could really make if we demanded compassion.
I'm sorry I ranted on this subject twice in a row, but I thought the grooming shop was a sanctuary like my apartment where I can feel safe from hateful people, and it was a sudden reminder that I'm not really ever safe, unless I'm tucked away in my apartment. Agoraphobia here I come!

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