Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Just Breathe

Something I'm trying to work on is giving myself a pat on the back every once in awhile. It feels strange, and it's definitely not a habit I'm used to. I'm more used to kicking my own ass.
Yesterday I truly had a day that would make most people want to jump off of a bridge. From my first errand, through my last errand it was just one disaster after another. I'm talking missed busses, boots breaking, much walking through ice and snow in said broken boots. I had to deal with a SUPER rude bank teller. It was truly a day where you really question what the hell is going on. By the time I got home, I was exhausted, and inconsolable.
The old me would have handled my frazzled nerves by either bingeing and purging, drinking way too much, and smoking tons of cigarettes.(At the very least) And when I got home I had that wild need for anything to distract, or make those feelings of sheer frustration go away. But instead, I pet some kitties, fed some kitties, took some deep breaths, and just calmed myself down. And I survived! The me of even a year ago would have smoke many cigs trying to calm my nerves. Which is crazy, cause cigs are full of stimulants!
I think a lot of us focus too much on what we need to do, change, fix, accomplish. It's great to be a constant work in progress, but we have to take that time to notice how far we've come. We try to show positivity towards other people, and compliment, encourage, high five, but what about ourselves? I guess I'm learning that to be my own best friend, I have to actually be my own best friend. One thing yoga has taught me is breathe through the discomfort. So high fiving myself feels weird, and uncomfortable, but I'm breathing through it, and one day it won't feel uncomfortable.
High five, from my hand to yours!

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