Friday, February 20, 2015

Less than Zero

I've been sitting here for two hours now, and had written a whole post, and I just sat here and deleted every last word. The truth is I am in a full blown winter funk. I can't remember the last time it's been in the double digits, and yesterday school was cancelled not because of snow, but cold temps. It's pretty bad when the schools close, because let me tell you the local yokels are pretty tough. For the most part, the teens here wear hoodies year round. Not winter coats, but hoodies. I say you are a bad ass, if you wear a hoodie in single digit temps. And everyone here has a story of the winter of insert year here. What I'm saying is, it's been brutal here.
I read a blog this morning reveling in the first signs of spring. The blogger in question is in California, so of course there were beautiful sunny pics to back up the claims. I actually cried, and felt irritated with this person. I think jealousy is more what I was feeling. I'm usually able to be happier and more positive towards people and their joy, but I guess I struggle when it comes to weather.
I truly am trying to keep my whining to a minimum, but I also have to be true to my feelings, and what I'm going through. I don't feel right painting a rosy picture when the paintbrush is dry. I love my kitties, and my life wouldn't be the same without them, but I do miss the days of being totally alone, I wouldn't even be here now. So, this week has been a week of struggle for me. I feel like keeping myself full of positive thoughts has been almost impossible. The bitter wind chills have definitely upped the feelings of isolation.
I fought myself on writing another whiny weather post. But at some point I do have to go to work, and this is how I feel today. Anything else feels false, and inauthentic. And I can't imagine I;m the only one in a winter funk, dreaming of spring.
Stay warm and cozy, and apparently at some point it will become spring.

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