Tuesday, November 29, 2016

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

Sunday night I was feeling lazy so I made pasta with this Barillla sauce I picked up on sale. It's pretty tasty for jarred sauce. It wasn't bitter, and it also wasn't too sweet which are my two biggest complaints when it comes to jarred sauce. And loads of nutritional yeast makes everything better!
I may not be eating gluten for awhile, so I'm glad I had this. So, the week of the election I somehow hurt my neck. Like I've never had this kind of pain, I was literally sobbing out loud. I couldn't move, and trying to sleep was a joke. I felt like maybe I should go to the ER, but when I googled hospitals there were none that seemed easy to get to. They all required two bus trips, and one was three bus trips. So, I did what all of us without health insurance do and I googled my symptoms. It seemed like I had a pinched nerve, so I just tried to deal. About three days later I was feeling better. Well, Sunday my neck started hurting again and I got worried. When I lived in PA., a coworker's boyfriend was having headaches and neck pain for a few days, and one night when he came to pick her up from work, he keeled over dead in the parking lot!! I couldn't stop thinking ab
out that. So, yesterday I decided to go to the ER. The doctor said I have either a spasm, or pinched nerve. I mean, google had already told me that!! Anyway, I also mentioned that I have been struggling with deep depression and sleep issues. So they took blood and urine samples. Well, it turns out that I have blood in my urine and no idea why, and also I have Hypothyroidism, or an underactive thyroid. Apparently this can cause sluggishness, depression and either weight gain, or a hard time losing weight. It makes so much sense because I have not been losing my beer weight, despite eating healthy, exercising, and walking A LOT.  I have always struggled with sluggishness. In the past it led to some unhealthy habits like way too much caffeine, and energy drinks. So, he prescribed some kind of medicine that's supposed to give me more energy. This is where the day got a million times worse. A nurse/social worker gave me some clinics for low income and all that, and he told me of a place that once a year gives you a fifty dollar coupon for prescriptions. He told me the place was "close enough to walk to" Yesterday snowed all day. Like from the time I woke up till I went to sleep. It was blustery wet snow that stings your face. So, I started walking, what a surprise got SUPER LOST, and I also fell in the snow and hurt my knee and hip pretty badly. But I kept going. Eventually I couldn't do it anymore. I was limping, and crying and soaked to the bone. So, I took the long two bus rides home. I started looking it up last night, and I feel confident that I can manage this without medication. It's hard for me because I never knew my birth dad, he bounced when My mom was pregnant, and she got super pissed any time I asked questions. And I know very little about my mom's health issues. I remember that she had ovarian cancer at a very young age(28) but that's about it. So who knows what runs in my blood.
Yesterday was seriously one of the worst days I've had in awhile. Trudging around lost in the snow in falling and finding out I have some random health issue is a lot to take on alone. I just wanted a hug and a shoulder to cry on. I was starving when I got home but I was also so soaked and cold down to the bone that all I could do was feed the Floofs and take the hottest bath ever. I would have loved someone to love me and make me some soup. Sorry, I sound so pathetic right now.
Anyway, I still have to do a lot of research because every website I've visited says something a little different, but I do believe this can be treated with the correct diet. If anyone is dealing with this, or knows anything about it I'd any suggestions. I do know that gluten is mentioned everywhere as a NO NO. Sobs. I'm still in denial about that one. Tofurky!! Seitan!!!
I miss Seattle so much. I don't have a home base or hometown, and I came to consider Seattle home. The city was my family if that makes sense. I found myself in Seattle. I found acceptance. Even though I struggled and went through stuff, it all was worth it. And after about a month of living there I knew how to get around the whole city! And because I moved around so much I was familiar with all the neighborhoods and never really got lost. I'm homesick I guess. No matter where I live I will always consider Seattle home.
I'm sorry this was such a mopey post. But stress makes everything worse, and it just feels better to tell someone, you know? Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope everyone is warm and well!

15 comments:

  1. Oh no!!! I'm so sorry that you have been in pain and having such a hard time. I know that it sucks to hear bad news but hopefully now that you have some answers you'll feel better soon. As far as gluten is concerned, I'm not an expert by any means but even if you don't have a gluten sensitivity I think it can cause a lot of inflammation. I know that when I cut my gluten intake I tend to feel a lot better but who knows, maybe it is psychological. You can try cutting it for 21 days and see how you feel?

    I know I'm not there to help you but I am sending lots of cyber love and hugs your way! Feel free to e-mail me whenever you need me!

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    1. I have been trying to use up the remaining gluten filled items in my pantry like pasta etc. and then whether I like it or not I'm going to cut it out of my diet for 21 days, and if I feel better than maybe I'll have it as an occasional treat, but live mostly gluten free. WAAAAAA! But if it improves my health than it's all worth it.
      I will definitely be emailing you!

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  2. Oh my goodness, I am sending you such a huge hug right now! I hope you start to feel better soon! <3 I really don't know much about hypothyroidism, but I wish you the best of luck with your research & figuring out how you want to treat it!

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    1. Thanks! I've reached out to someone who has it so hopefully I'll get some nice suggestions. Researching online can be a real pain, it seems like everyone says something different.

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  3. I'm so sorry to read about all this but I am pleased that you managed to get checked out and have now got some idea of what you are dealing with. You have made massive strides in the last few years with improving your health, really inspiring me and a lot of others and I know you will keep researching. I don't know anything about this condition but I will keep my eyes peeled for information. I know you're not on it but I would definitely recommend having a think about joining Facebook and asking on some vegan groups if anyone has experience of dealing with Hypothyroidism on a vegan diet. People on the SLC vegans group always seem really nice and helpful. Sending you a big hug and there's also a little something in the post should arrive at the end of the week.

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    1. I just had the white chocolate santa last night and it was so delicious! It tastes just like I remember white chocolate tasting. It really reminded me of my grandparents who I loved so much, they used to always get me a white chocolate Santa and a white chocolate Easter bunny!

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  4. My mother's dealt with hypothyroidism for years, but she's pretty elderly at this point and has been on medication that helps. Not that I would discourage her from taking her meds, but I'm more like you - if there's a "holistic" way to deal with it, much preferred. Sorry to hear about the neck and hip. Holy Moses, what a drag! Hopefully, at least those clear up for you sooner rather than later.

    I wouldn't doubt that the neck thing is being exacerabated by stress. My advice, for what it's worth, maybe avoid political stuff on the internet for the next few days. Binge watch a good show or something. Have you seen Stranger Things, yet??? - So excellent and worth checking out. Also on Netflix, Season One of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend which is a super-adorable musical, romance sitcom. Don't judge it by the title; it's a very fun show.

    Anyhow, my thoughts are with you always. Hopefully, there's not too much snow on the ground that you can still get out and about. Take care.

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    1. I really believe that I can control this through diet. I believe maybe if I let it go on longer it might be a different story. Stress is also really bad for hypothyroidism so I need to get a grip.
      I loved Stranger Things. I'll have to give Crazy Ex Girlfriend a look, I love romantic comedies so much!

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  5. If I lived in your town, I would totally make you some soup :(. The fact that you walked tenaciously in all that snow shows you come from good stock, notwithstanding your DNA. Girl, I feel ya on the gluten issue - I just don't like gluten free stuff but guess if forced to, I'd adapt but to have to give up seitan-based products? Don't wanna!

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    1. I know! I was a nanny for a kid with severe allergies to all kinds of foods, gluten being one of them and I felt so bad for him! Gluten free bread leaves A LOT to be desired, as does gluten free pasta. And Gardein, my beloved gardein!

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  6. That sounds like an awful day of cold and wet, I wish I could have been nearby to make you some soup, or some hot chocolate.
    Getting a diagnosis of something never feels great, but does give some direction for how to go forward. I have no experience with this in people. If you were a cat, that would be a different story! (Though mostly we see an overactive thyroid in kitties, not underactive.)

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    1. It was one of the longest and worst days ever. I have been doing a lot of research, and I am very optimistic that I can cure myself through the right foods. I also read that shoulder stands in yoga help stimulate the thyroid, so I've been practicing those.

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