Tuesday, November 29, 2016
I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!
I may not be eating gluten for awhile, so I'm glad I had this. So, the week of the election I somehow hurt my neck. Like I've never had this kind of pain, I was literally sobbing out loud. I couldn't move, and trying to sleep was a joke. I felt like maybe I should go to the ER, but when I googled hospitals there were none that seemed easy to get to. They all required two bus trips, and one was three bus trips. So, I did what all of us without health insurance do and I googled my symptoms. It seemed like I had a pinched nerve, so I just tried to deal. About three days later I was feeling better. Well, Sunday my neck started hurting again and I got worried. When I lived in PA., a coworker's boyfriend was having headaches and neck pain for a few days, and one night when he came to pick her up from work, he keeled over dead in the parking lot!! I couldn't stop thinking ab
out that. So, yesterday I decided to go to the ER. The doctor said I have either a spasm, or pinched nerve. I mean, google had already told me that!! Anyway, I also mentioned that I have been struggling with deep depression and sleep issues. So they took blood and urine samples. Well, it turns out that I have blood in my urine and no idea why, and also I have Hypothyroidism, or an underactive thyroid. Apparently this can cause sluggishness, depression and either weight gain, or a hard time losing weight. It makes so much sense because I have not been losing my beer weight, despite eating healthy, exercising, and walking A LOT. I have always struggled with sluggishness. In the past it led to some unhealthy habits like way too much caffeine, and energy drinks. So, he prescribed some kind of medicine that's supposed to give me more energy. This is where the day got a million times worse. A nurse/social worker gave me some clinics for low income and all that, and he told me of a place that once a year gives you a fifty dollar coupon for prescriptions. He told me the place was "close enough to walk to" Yesterday snowed all day. Like from the time I woke up till I went to sleep. It was blustery wet snow that stings your face. So, I started walking, what a surprise got SUPER LOST, and I also fell in the snow and hurt my knee and hip pretty badly. But I kept going. Eventually I couldn't do it anymore. I was limping, and crying and soaked to the bone. So, I took the long two bus rides home. I started looking it up last night, and I feel confident that I can manage this without medication. It's hard for me because I never knew my birth dad, he bounced when My mom was pregnant, and she got super pissed any time I asked questions. And I know very little about my mom's health issues. I remember that she had ovarian cancer at a very young age(28) but that's about it. So who knows what runs in my blood.
Yesterday was seriously one of the worst days I've had in awhile. Trudging around lost in the snow in falling and finding out I have some random health issue is a lot to take on alone. I just wanted a hug and a shoulder to cry on. I was starving when I got home but I was also so soaked and cold down to the bone that all I could do was feed the Floofs and take the hottest bath ever. I would have loved someone to love me and make me some soup. Sorry, I sound so pathetic right now.
Anyway, I still have to do a lot of research because every website I've visited says something a little different, but I do believe this can be treated with the correct diet. If anyone is dealing with this, or knows anything about it I'd any suggestions. I do know that gluten is mentioned everywhere as a NO NO. Sobs. I'm still in denial about that one. Tofurky!! Seitan!!!
I miss Seattle so much. I don't have a home base or hometown, and I came to consider Seattle home. The city was my family if that makes sense. I found myself in Seattle. I found acceptance. Even though I struggled and went through stuff, it all was worth it. And after about a month of living there I knew how to get around the whole city! And because I moved around so much I was familiar with all the neighborhoods and never really got lost. I'm homesick I guess. No matter where I live I will always consider Seattle home.
I'm sorry this was such a mopey post. But stress makes everything worse, and it just feels better to tell someone, you know? Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope everyone is warm and well!