Sunday, December 4, 2016

Taking Some Time to Heal

                                           
If you have an extra seven minutes, this is an incredibly uplifting video. This man is one of my new heroes. I am agnostic for several reasons that are personal, but I will share one reason. My adoptive parents are Christians. Pentecostal to be exact. As soon as they adopted me it was expected that I would just fall into their way of thinking. They are judgmental, and they rest on their religious laurels and somehow forgive themselves because Jesus while condemning others. My adoptive dad has never met a slur he doesn't love. He calls women he doesn't like the c word(sorry I loathe that word, it's so ugly) he uses the N word on the regular, and has the most grotesque things to say about Hispanics. It's horrifying. He basically hates anyone who isn't a white Christian. Although Denise doesn't necessarily use those words, she feels the same way. The amount of hate he carries in his heart is shocking, disgusting and completely depressing. I am ashamed that I have their last name to be honest. I actually wish I had the money to reverse my adoption, but lawyers aren't cheap. Maybe one day. Anyway, I'm saying all of this to say that when I used to speak with them, hearing them get on their Christian high horse and put down people who aren't Christian is enough to make me laugh and also cry. I went to their church once when I lived in PA and it was nothing but a sea of white. This man to me represents what a true Christian is. I think a lot of so called Christians I've met in my day could learn a few lessons here.
In other news, I am taking the rest of December off from blogging. The holidays are followed by my birthday, followed by New Year's Eve which will be the one year anniversary of the passing of my best friend Dylan. As the date is coming up, I seriously don't know how I've gone a year without my sweet friend. In addition my mental health is deteriorating. I am a mess and I can't keep it together. I don't want to be a negative force in this world. I want to be positive, and spread light, but I am living in the dark and have been for awhile.
I also need to figure out my health situation. I've reached out to a YouTuber I watch, Banana Wisdom who has Hashimotos disease for advice. While doing my research I discovered that ninety percent of women with hypothyroidism also have hashimoto's.Jeannine told me that doctors rarely test for hashimotos because the symptoms and treatments are the same. Anyway, I discovered her channel awhile ago and she seems to be healing herself through diet and self care, not medicine. So she and I have been e mailing and she's going to give me some tips and suggestions.
Hopefully I will be back at the start of the new year feeling physically and mentally stronger.
I also might give this blog a face lift. Animal rights and veganism is and ALWAYS will be my number one passion, but I am also interested in fighting racism, and the upcoming Trumpification of America. So I might change things up, but I have to think about that once I'm not drowning in depression.
Also, my anonymous critic is back. They left a sarcastic question about me not having Obama care on my last post. I am hyper sensitive to bullying, and I feel bullied by this person after the email they sent me. I was bullied in school for years. Like the kind of bullying that makes a lot of kids commit suicide. I know as an adult that if you state your opinions, people are going to go for the jugular. But right now I can't handle it. I know I shouldn't be even writing this, because they're going to leave another nasty ass comment. They even have attacked other people who read and comment, but I deleted those comments. I just don't feel safe. It isn't that I have a problem with someone disagreeing it's that I have a problem being personally attacked by an anonymous person who doesn't even know me. When I see a comment pop up in my inbox from unknown or anonymous, my stomach and heart hurt. Trockwood, I'm always so relieved when it's you!!! Stress is very bad for hypothyroidism, and also depression so right now I need to heal.
I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and support from the majority. I was so scared to start this blog. For thise of you who have been reading from the jump, remember when I didn't even know how to post pictures?? Yet you still read and commented and supported and it has meant so much. Emotional support is something that has been lacking in my life for years, and it has meant so much. Not to mention I wouldn't be here with my remaining kitties without you. As anonymous pointed out, I'm here "on the purse strings of others(gofundme) so I have a lot to be grateful for.
Sorry, I didn't mean for this to become such a novel. I hope everyone has an amazing holiday season full of love and friends and family, and not to mention delicious vegan food!
I'll still be reading and commenting on everyone's blogs and once I feel stronger and healthier I'll be back. I want to leave with this quote I found on twitter that really made me smile.
"People of character do the right thing even if no one else does, not because they think it will change the world, but because they refuse to be changed by the world" - Michael Josephson

16 comments:

  1. Best wishes for a blogging break that is full of self-care & happy times with your sweet kitties! I'll be thinking good thoughts for you on New Year's Eve <3

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  2. Definitely take the time you need and look after yourself. I am estranged from my Dad, who was very emotionally abusive, and really struggle to maintain a healthy relationship with my Mum. It's very tough and a lot of emotional labour to figure out the stuff you have already figured out about your adoptive parents, so well done you. And well done for sticking up for what's right. It's HARD and really takes its toll. It's so important to take the time to care for ourselves. Hope you are feeling brighter soon x

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    1. Thank you for sharing and understanding. I'm sure you definitely understand that the holidays take a particular toll!

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  3. Aw, we'll miss you! But definitely take all the time you need!! And screw that anonymous asshole. UGH. Internet trolls are the worst. I'm sorry that someone jerk is bullying you. Not cool. I hope to see you around Twitter still! And I hope you have a wonderful holiday!!

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    1. Thank you! Somehow I've managed to avoid trolls until I spoke out against Trump, or Dump as someone on twitter called him! I hope you have an amazing holiday too, and I can't wait to see pictures of your delicious food!

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  4. Take the time to look after yourself. You can always contact me if I can help in anyway (if you need to talk to someone about Dylan, I am
    definitely here),and I will be Twittering away as per usual.
    <3 <3 <3

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    1. Thank you so much! I seriously don't know how I've gone almost a year without Dylan.

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  5. I'll continue to follow you on Twitter so I can keep up with your floofs and recipes. Hope your year end is peaceful and there isn't too much snow to deal with. Take care of yourself and know that I'm thinking of you (you have my e-mail address - feel free to reach out if you need a sympathetic ear!)

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    1. Thank you! So far the day I ventured out and got lost and fell has been the snowiest of all the days (go figure)

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  6. That's great that you've found someone in the same health situation who is giving you some support. We will all be thinking of you and rooting for you. xxx

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  7. We will miss you but please take all of the time you need. I know what it is like to need a recharge and to take that time to make sure that you take care of yourself. It is so important for you to take care of your health, physical and mental. I hope that you find the answers that you need and that you start to feel better. Please e-mail me whenever you need to! Have a happy holiday <3 We'll be thinking of you!

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    1. Thank you! Right now I hope you are soaking in some warm Florida rays!!

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  8. Please do what you need to do to take care of yourself. It's a testament to your strength of chartacter that you were able to grow up in an environment of intolerance and yet see that is not who you are and rise above that.
    Please do see a dr for more tests instead of letting the internet scare the heck out of you with what might/could be wrong-my sister has a wonky thyroid and she takes a supplement with zero side effects yet it improved her symptoms really quickly.
    (((Big squishy hug)))
    Ttrockwood

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    1. Thank you. I've been emailing with someone on YouTube who has the same issue, and she has been giving me advice. Unfortunately I hate it, ha ha. It involves giving up gluten and caffeine waaahhhhh! But I have been avoiding both and I do plan on having a check-up to see if it's working, or if I do need to take something.

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