Today is my 100th post! It really does seem like yesterday, I think it has aged pretty well, must be all that coconut oil! ha ha. When I originally started this blog, I wanted to be like other blogs that I'm a fan of, and have awesome recipes, and beautiful pictures. Obviously that is not the direction things have gone. And for right now I'm okay with that. For right now, this blog has become a safe way for me to vent some of my pent up feelings, and as someone who has a long history of handling my emotions through self destructive behavior, this seems like a healthier outlet. And I always feel better after I blog, especially after some of the more ranting posts. It also feels good to work my brain in this way, looking up the spelling/meaning of certain words, and looking up info so I can sometimes give actual facts, reading my words, then erasing and starting over, it's all been way more invigorating to my brain than getting drunk and smoking cigarettes.
For me the most important thing is that I have stuck with it even though I feel so dorky that I can't even put a picture on my blog, and I just have so much to learn. I feel like I'm gaining more confidence through doing this, and it feels nice. It also feels nice the few times that someone has expressed interest in something I've said or suggested, because I get a lot of eye rolls and disinterested gazes most of the time when I talk.
I have been studying up on things I need to learn, but I have to be honest, it's going to take awhile, because I guess I'm on the slower end of picking computer speak up. I have been trying to spend some time each day learning and tinkering around.
For anyone who reads, or has read this blog, I really appreciate it, and I appreciate the fact that people are willing to read a very imperfect blog, with no beautiful pictures or recipes. I feel way to cashew cheesy for saying this, but here goes nothing, there has been many a day when I have tried so hard to have conversations with people, and all day I just feel like everything I say is either boring, or insane, and it feels lonely and weird, and when I see anyone has read my blog that day, it makes me feel a little less lonely.
I plan on writing at least 100 more, and improving each time.