Yesterday I had a rough day. I am still feeling drained from it to tell the truth. I was at the grooming shop getting ready to leave and some guy who works for the landlord came to fix something, and he was so disgusting. First of all, he had screwdrivers in his hand, and his opening line to Maureen (the shop owner) was I'm here to screw you. Wow dude what a completely original and very appropriate thing to say to a woman. Maureen introduced us, and he said a few other gems that suffice it to say were completely ignorant and offensive. One of them involved him shooting his neighbors cat! So I simply told Maureen that I needed to leave because I was disgusted by this guy. I was seriously having so many emotions on my walk home I thought I was having an anxiety attack. I know that this kind of mentality exists everywhere, but seriously I live in a town where that's the norm, and when you say to people wow that's not okay, you get a lot of weird looks like "what's the big deal", or if a guy is a pervert, and you say something you get "oh him, he's harmless". Well I don't agree. I feel it is harmful to be so disgusting towards woman.
I'm going to do some research, but based on what I've noticed in this city where racism is rampant, I think a lot of isms go together because sexism is big here too. I think some people think I'm a radical feminist simply because I don't feel the need for a husband, and I don't want strange men touching me, or calling me babe, hon, sweetie, any other name other than my name.
And I think cruelty goes right along with it, as I have never seen such a large population of hunters/gun enthusiasts in my life. The general response I get when I mention I am vegan is "well animals were put on this earth to be eaten". And they clearly think that woman were put on this earth to ogle and touch whether we like it or not, and if George Zimmerman came to town I'm sure a parade would be thrown. I feel so sad today, and so pissed that I am even living here, and the worst feeling is that I feel stuck and helpless, because if it were just me, I would have been long gone, but I have a fleet of felines, and I just don't know what I'm going to do.
It's hard to think of three things to be grateful for, but this is probably what I need most so here goes nothing. 1) I'm grateful that my kitties are safe inside and away from maniacal gun owners. 2) I'm grateful for my apartment as it really is my only safe haven in this town. 3) I'm grateful that I've lived other places in my life, and I know that not every person is mean and cruel, while trying to say that they are good Christian people.
I'm sorry this post was a downer, and probably makes no sense, but my life in this place makes no sense to me.