I am still very sad about the death of Robin Williams. It's so sad to me that he was not only loved by the public at large, but he seemed to have a very loving family as well.
I think it also has hit me hard because I really struggled emotionally this past weekend, and I even took an online loneliness quiz, and my score was extreme loneliness. To live the way I've been living since leaving Seattle, with no emotional connections or support is really starting to mess with my head. I have suffered some really hard, sad, and even lonely times in my day, but this really takes the cake. I have always had someone in my life, whether it's a friend, or a co-worker, or sometimes you even meet a stranger on the bus who you connect with, life is awesome that way. But I have lived in this city for four years, and have not made one friend. I do not have one person in this city who I know I could call, and who would really get me, and even care.
I will be fine because although I do fight sadness every day, I also have a plan to get out of this town, and so I have been forcing myself to focus on that, And most importantly, I am not allowing myself to drink alcohol, which I know is not only a depressant, but duh it would cut into saving money. But I understand people who succumb to drink, even if it is just a temporary fix.
I am by no means an expert but I don't think that there is a "cure" for depression, I think it is something that comes and goes, it happens to the rich and the poor, it happens to those who have support, and those who don't. And everyone handles it differently. I do think we need to take a look at what the hell is going into the food we eat, and how have we gotten so removed from real food, and I think that we all have to take responsibility for how we treat one another. When is the last time you talked to someone in person, without looking at your phone? I think we have become slaves to anything distracting, and meanwhile shit is going down all around us, but I guess it's okay as long as I can tweet and instagram it.
If you are feeling lonely, please know that eventually you won't feel lonely, and then maybe you will again, and so on and so forth. Life is an ebb and flow deal. Yesterday I talked to a dear friend from Seattle, and even though in person is always best in my opinion, this was still pretty great. It reminded me that I can and have had friends, and have had people who care about my thoughts and opinions. And it gave me the strength to re-focus on plan buy r.v. / van/ bus and move to Oregon.
In closing of my nonlinear rant, I saw a clip of Robin Williams on Oprah, and he said he wanted people to understand that suicide is a permanent fix for a temporary problem.
We all deal with pain differently, and we all handle the ups and downs differently, and not everyone is great at asking for help, so I vote for compassion compassion compassion. I'm not saying kindness would solve all the worlds problems, but wouldn't it be nice if we tried? It seems like we are willing to try everything else.
Have a wonderful day, and if you need a hug, ask for one, and if you don't need one, then give a hug. Or, if you don't do hugs, give a compliment. Make the world a more cheerful place.