So yesterday morning I had an employee meeting at work. It included bar and kitchen staff, and it was the first time I've seen everyone who works there, plus a few of the board members in a room at the same time. I was the only person not smoking cigarettes, and not complaining of some type of ailment. Both cooks have a flu/cold type of thing (gross, they cook food for people), and there was not one person there who doesn't have some type of health problem. I felt like I needed a hazmat suit to sit in there. This is what my problem is with eating or drinking in public. I don't want sweat, snot or any type of cootie near my food or drink. And no one really seems to think that is gross. But yet everyone is constantly using hand sanitizer. People are too strange for me to deal. These are the same people who tease me anytime I bring my own food to work, or talk about anything I cook. I also get teased for working out, or believing that you can age gracefully, and healthily. It makes me sad, because I remember what it was like to just accept feeling crappy. Feeling crappy becomes normal, and it's hard to get any pleasure out of life when you feel like poo.
Yesterday made me realize that although I'm not where I want to be yet, I have made great progress, and I'm moving forward, not backward. I feel like when we get stagnant in life, and lose any hope, well life and your health go downhill. What I saw were people who are not participating in their own life, they're just taking their bodies for granted, and getting more and more miserable. A lot of these people have a lot of "things", and go on vacations to tropical places that I'll probably never see, but yet there is no joy, or wonderment, or gratitude. Just complaints. I realized yesterday sitting there how much I want to keep moving forward. I want to be like the seventy- seven year old grandma who is a power lifter. I want to keep loving and listening to my body, so it can love me back.
I also want to thank anyone who reads this little ole blog. It's amazing how having this little outlet to vent my little thoughts and feelings has really made me become more confident. Easier to ignore the side eyes and jokes I get.
Now I'm off to deal with the dreaded dental clinic. I hope everything goes smoothly, because I am out of patience with these wankers. I feel like I'm going to have an epic meltdown, that would make the news. So, let's hope I don't have to hulk out. I have been eating a lot of greens, so turning green might not be too difficult. HA.