Shave that Brussel!

Last night I made something for dinner that was so easy and delicious that even though I am a dweeb and have no pictures, and not even an exact recipe, I want to talk about it anyway. I found a great deal on Brussels sprouts at Wegmen's, and I love roasted Brussels sprouts, that is the first way that I ever tried them, and years ago I tried steaming them, and NO. I do not think the texture is okay steamed at all. I think at least 90% of people who say they don't like Brussels don't like them because they probably tried them steamed. Anyway, I wanted to do something different, but similar, and I also was craving pasta, so I needed to put the two things together. I thinly sliced, or shredded almost about a half to 3/4 of a pound of Brussels, and started sautéing them in a pan with maybe a tablespoon of olive oil, then after about 5 minutes, I added three cloves of minced garlic, salt, pepper, and cause I'm a spicy girl, crushed red pepper. Meanwhile I boiled up some water, and made some angel hair pasta, which I undercooked, added about 1/4 of a cup of the pasta water to the pan of Brussels and garlic, drained the pasta, and added it to the mix, and cooked for about one minute. Then, for a final bit of flair, I sprinkled in some beloved nutritional yeast. It was so delicious, and I love sautéed Brussels now, in addition to roasted! I think sautéed Brussels would be good in a hash, with some onion and potato, and maybe served alone, or if your sassy, some tofu scramble, and toast. I was also thinking they would be really good over some brown rice with a tahini garlic sauce. The point is that this dish was easily done in ten minutes, and I only used two pans, so easy clean up as well. And thanks to an amazing sale that Wegmen's had on Brussels sprouts, this meal was super cheap, well under five dollars, and I had dinner, and will eat the leftovers for lunch. I used regular old angel hair pasta, but obviously if you have gluten sensitivities, gluten free pasta will totally work, or whole grain whatever your heart desires.
This experience, and my recent buffalo cauliflower experience has really taught me to not get stuck in such food ruts, and keep on trying foods that maybe you've never liked, but prepared a different way. It will only make you gag at worst, it won't kill you! And sometimes you only need two little ingredients, with a little seasoning, and it is still very tasty and interesting.

I Now Scream for Gelato

About two weeks ago, I was doing some grocery shopping, and as I was perusing the little natural foods section where most of the vegan specialty items can be found, and I noticed a new to me vegan ice cream. It's called Dream, and the flavor I got was sea salt caramel. It's an almond based gelato. I also saw a black cherry flavor, as well as a coconut almond flavor. I looked them up online, and they have a total of eight different flavors, including a café latte flavor that I bet is to die for. I guess it is Rice Dream(the company) maybe now they just go by dream because they have ventured into more than rice milk? I don't know all the little deets, all I really know is that this gelato was so delicious, and now I want to live in a salted caramel world. I really didn't think I would ever have anything salted caramel as a vegan. I find vegan caramels to be very unavailable where I live, and the one time I did see some they were not in my budget at all. I also tried to make vegan caramel once and in all seriousness it was traumatizing and resulted in a scorched pan, and a scorched ego. So, back to this gelato. It is way lower calories than typical vegan ice creams, coming in at 140 calories per half cup. And the ingredient list isn't too weird, it is non-gmo, and what really surprised me is that it is sweetened with brown rice syrup. I would have never guessed, and I can usually spot brown rice syrup. When it thaws a little, it is so creamy, it seems just like ice cream, and the salted caramel is so delicious! Truth be told, I've never had salted caramel, vegan or not, so I guess I can't compare, but I have had caramel, and this tasted like caramel! The salt wasn't obvious, it was just happy to quietly be in the background, adding interesting flavor. It is also gluten free, if that is an issue for you. I think that this is another one of those awesome vegan treats that could easily please any omnivore. It is creamy, rich and satisfying.
I get so down and frustrated sometimes that we are not getting anywhere with the vegan movement, and people are not giving an eff, but I have to keep reminding myself that something is happening, otherwise we wouldn't have all these vegan treats. I mean, now we vegans can have gelato, not just vegan ice cream. And I was able to find this gelato in the Mccity that I live in. So, it's not happening as fast as I would like, but slowly things are happening, and these companies are making really delicious things, and that is how we can get people to eat cruelty free, by making it delicious. My parents are very suspicious of all things vegan, and actually at times are quite offensive, and they believe vegans want to cram spirulina into everything, and I believe they would eat this and love it. I would just tell them it's vegan after they eat it! Anyway, if you see this gelato at your local grocery, I really recommend it, for everyone, vegans and non-vegans.

Laughter & Cauliflower..

I think most people can agree that laughter is a good and necessary part of our lives. There is nothing better than just cracking the hell up, I'm talking snorting, crying,slobbering, losing your breath, wow my abs just got a workout kind of cracking up. I'm not ashamed to admit that I do a fair share of weeping all by my lonesome, so I have to balance that out with things that are light, and crack me up. I also do not own a television, so I rely on books, online articles and videos. So I have my usual, always good for a laugh TMZ, and another really funny gossip blog is D-listed. So snarky!
Something new I discovered thanks to YouTube, is the seriously make you pee your pants funny Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. If you are a fan of The Daily Show, you will obviously remember John Oliver. Not having a TV means I'm not always that up to date on TV news, and usually when things change in a calm, peaceful manner they don't really make it on TMZ, so I was unaware that John Oliver had even left The Daily Show. Anyway, I discovered this gem a few weeks ago, and in case anyone else has missed out, I wanted to spread the joy. He has such a biting sense of humor, and obviously I agree with his way of thinking, so it just makes me cry with laughter. And since the show is on HBO, he can use the real bad words! He doesn't overuse them, but sometimes nothing really drives the point home like a well placed fuck!
Anyway, I know that the show is on HBO, I don't know what day or time, sorry. But the show has a YouTube channel, and they upload very regularly. If you ever need a quick laugh, you should check it out.
Another little suggestion that is kind of old news by now, is Buffalo Cauliflower! I hate cauliflower. I was forced to eat it as a child, even after it made me gag, and I have never been able to eat it, or really even smell it without wanting to gag myself with a spoon. Well, I have been reading all of these buffalo cauliflower recipes, and I have watched a ton of videos on YouTube, and they all look so, so good, but I always remember,cauliflower. Well, I decided to conquer my fear, and instead of buying a whole head, which felt way too daunting, I bought a little container with some pre-cut florets, and bought a little rice flower in bulk, and decided to try one more time with this gag inducing vegetable. I followed one of the seriously like one million recipes online, I mean even meat eaters have become obsessed with this dish. (Go vegetables!) I made a little rice flower batter, baked the florets, tossed them with some hot sauce mixed with a teaspoon of coconut oil, baked until somewhat crispy, and gave them a try. I'm not going to lie, it took me five or ten minutes to gather the courage, and guess what? I did not gag at all, in fact they were very delicious. If someone actually loves or even likes cauliflower, try this recipe! I can't say I will rush to make it again, because cauliflower, but it taught me a lesson that there is always a way, and for god's sake, don't be scared of food goose! But seriously, it was super easy, and there are so many recipes. I would imagine that you could get really creative with sauces too. Any sauce used on wings could be applied here. With football season in full swing, I could see these being a hit with anyone, no matter what diet they follow.

Cooked, with a Side of Raw

So I have been eating Raw till 4 for about five or six months, and I have really enjoyed the benefits, and I think increasing my fruit intake has really been beneficial. My cravings for sweets has decreased so much, and I feel happier naturally on days where I have eaten very fruit heavy. Especially strawberries, over the summer for a few weeks one of my local grocery stores was having an awesome sale on organic strawberries, and I always had an extra pep in my step on strawberry days. Along with eating a mostly raw diet, I also increased the intensity of my workouts. I started doing a lot more cardio, and workouts that seriously make me grunt and gasp, and I love it so much! I have always loved working out, however I lost sight of that a little when I decided to make alcohol and cigarettes my preferred coping mechanisms. So, although I don't have a "killer" bod or anything, I definitely have noticed some improvements. But really what is most important to me is that I feel so strong and so good, and I feel proud because I have really committed to finding health. As someone who has always been abusive to myself in one way or another, this feels huge. I feel like I am becoming someone who I never thought I would be, someone who likes themselves, and feels comfortable in their own skin, and confident when it comes to stating their beliefs. I am by no means there yet, but the fact that I have been consistently working towards it is huge.
Now that the temps have been consistently dropping, I have been really stressing over getting enough raw food in my diet. The fruit choices are dwindling by the day, and I cannot fathom a frozen smoothie first thing in the morning, or anytime in the morning for that matter, and it's only October, and the temps aren't even close to the winter apocalypse yet. I also can't imagine living on bananas, apples, and various citrus fruit for the next 3, 4, 5 months. Coming from a past of disordered, restrictive, and effed up eating habits that is just not something I am interested in, not to mention I cannot afford the volume needed to sustain that diet, a bag of oranges has to last me longer than one meal of juice. So, I've been experimenting with my diet a little, incorporating more cooked foods, and so far I feel fine. I have been juicing a little more, as juice is way easier to tolerate than a frozen smoothie, which by the way I also cannot do room temp smoothies. Hell to the no, I tried it thinking that would help but blech smoothies need to be cold, in my opinion. One trick I've learned that works for me is if I make a salad, and then either stuff it in a wrap that has been warmed a little, or in between a toasted baguette, it suddenly feels like a warmer meal, so I've been trying to that a few times a week, and I'm sure I will learn more tricks as time goes on that I will share as I learn. I think I'm learning to actually listen to my body, as in the warmer months there were weeks and weeks where I pretty much ate all raw food, without even thinking about it, because that was what felt natural in the heat. Even if you look at seasonal produce, most fall and winter vegetables need to be cooked in some way, again in my opinion. So, as long as I continue to feel good, am able to keep up and feel great doing my workouts, I see no reason to force myself to eat in a way that doesn't feel natural or fun. I also really love to cook, so I am happy to get back into that creative outlet. I look forward to sharing any recipes I come up with that might be delicious, sometimes I come up with a real winner, and I never write anything down, so it's hard to recreate, but a blog is a great reason to train myself to write things down!!
I want to say really quickly that if anyone reading this struggles with any type of self hating behavior, I want you to know that you can learn to be kind to yourself, and it feels so great. Like I said I never thought that I could love myself, but you have to love yourself, and you have to take care of yourself, because no one else will. I am going to write about my eating disorder story sometime, because I think it might help someone. I just have to find the courage, but when I do I will share. Self respect is so underrated!

Winter Apocalypse

Ever since the end of summer, I've been battling the blues more than usual, so much so that fall has brought nothing but dread to my heart. Last year I was new to a snow belt type winter, and was able to enjoy pumpkin, the beautiful colors of the leaves changing, sweaters, soups, and everything else that comes with fall. But now that I know what's coming next, I can hardly breathe. And from what everyone, including the Farmer's Almanac has said, we are in for another brutal winter. Now, as I see the leaves falling, I see death and isolation. The crisp air is just an appetizer to the brutal, bitter, daring you to live cold air that is about to come.  I don't know if anyone has ever, or does watch The Walking Dead, but the first couple of episodes which happen right after the zombies have taken over, every city is just so barren and dead feeling, and every living human is so isolated. Well, last winter there were so many days that I felt that same feeling. It felt like something had come through and caused a lot of death and despair.
I can't stop crying for the stray cats that I feed. I've been trying to buy the best quality food that I can afford to try to give them a fighting chance. I've been trying to gain their trust all summer, hoping I could at least get them to a shelter, but while they no longer run away from me, they all still keep thei distance, and are no where near letting me touch them. What a terrible way to live. It really breaks my heart, because I know that there are poor homeless animals all over this city, and what about the ones who don't have a food source?
I've tried to bring up the discussion a few times with local people, and I have gotten two responses, neither one has been helpful. One brilliant response is "oh, you worry about the animals, but who cares about the homeless people." I didn't know that by worrying about animals, it means that you don't care about humans. And the other response I have gotten is " well, they're animals, they know where to find cover." Okay, what about warmth, and food?  And furthermore, I want proof that all of the homeless animals have shelter. To me that is a fact people tell themselves so they don't have to worry about the problem, and they can get back to drinking and wallowing in their own problems.
I'm sorry this post is such a bummer. This morning is especially chilly, and it is just to the point of no return. Winter is coming, and no matter how many kick ass workouts I do , and no matter how much spinach I eat, I cannot fight that dick, Mother Nature and I can't talk to anyone about how I feel.  I wish these kitties would let me help them find shelter, or I wish  I wish, I wish. Hopeless and isolated are for sure not the greatest combo of feelings to deal with.
I feel like such a scrooge, because vegan or not vegan, the world has embraced fall, and Halloween, and for that matter Christmas, because at least where I live, most stores are already putting Christmas stuff up. I noticed this gem weeks ago, and the couple of times I've grumbled about it, people have given me the side eye, so apparently we are starting the Christmas stuff in September now. So I feel very at odds with society, even the vegan society.
I will find some kind of shelter to provide for these kitties if it kills me. It's not just the brutal cold I remember, it's also the hideous, biting wind that makes it even more hideous.
Well, to try to wrap things up with something that isn't totally a downer, Robin and I have made steps in our relationship! He sometimes sleeps in bed with me, like actually touching me (human cooties), and sometimes I have been able to pet him in rooms other than the kitchen, and at times other than meal time. I still get plenty of side eye from him, and I know he would prefer less human interaction, but we are making progress, and I feel pretty damn accomplished when he tolerates my touch! And pretty much all hissing has stopped, and all fur babies are living harmoniously.

Why Eat Greens, I'll just Take a Pill

Something that drives me absolutely up a wall, then back down is when people treat themselves so shitty, and start having health problems, and they say things like, "well that's what happens when you get older", or "well, if it's what god wants", etc. I hear so much of that where I work. I have a 62 year old coworker, who is a bartender that will come to work with bronchitis,  and still chain smoke, and complain that the antibiotics aren't doing anything, because she is not feeling any better?! Last week another coworker was having issues with her gallbladder, and she decided to stay after work and drink, because she wanted to test her body and see if it was gallstones, or her gallbladder!! And then said, well I'm getting to that age when things start to fall apart! She is 47 years old, not exactly ready to be put out to pasture. The alleged chef at my job has to weigh at least 500 pounds, and is one of the most toxic people I have ever met in my life. Any stereotypes of a "jolly fat man" are washed away after two seconds with Russ. He is always having one health problem after another, and again, it's just "one of those things". I don't think I have met one person in this city, young or old that isn't on some kind of medicine, and man I have heard of some weird illnesses and disorders that I never knew existed. I don't believe that your health has to go to shit as you get older, and I don't believe you have to shrivel, and wrinkle, and be unhealthy, and unhappy. I believe we can be vibrant as we age, and still be well oiled machines if we choose to take care of ourselves. And I'm not even talking in an expensive, bougie  superfood kind of way. I'm talking by just trying to get some natural nutrients, eating in a healthy way that feels satisfying to you, and trying to make your life as non toxic as possible. I have loved Dr. Andrew Weil since I can remember, he's a pretty famous naturopath, and has many books on holistic health. I think I discovered him on PBS like a million years ago. Anyway, he is 72 years old, and I swear he looks the same now as when I first discovered him. He absolutely glows with health and vibrancy. When I think of anyone, famous or not who really gives a crap about their health and body, they glow, you want to be around them, at least I do, but when I see these hacking, crabby, chain smoking, whining about aches and pains people, I want to run as far far away as I can get. It makes me wonder if western medicine has created this way of thinking, people think they can be as unhealthy as they want, cause there is a pill, or surgery to fix it. Or, if all else fails, as my dad says, he knows where he's going when he dies, so bring on the quarter pounder and fries. I'm not a religious person myself, but I think God probably wants people to take care of their bodies a little bit right? I also have to laugh, because we are so judgmental of people who commit suicide, but when you are chain smoking, and you have bronchitis, or you've had multiple heart attacks, and still pound in the cholesterol, aren't you just committing suicide at a slower pace? I used to commit suicide on a daily basis for many years. The fact that I'm still alive, and to the best of my knowledge I have my health, is a freaking miracle. I feel so bad for my poor body, I was really an abusive asshole. But I do know that we can heal through food, and making as many non toxic choices as possible. Life is tough, and we all go through a lot, and what I have discovered is that when you are taking care of yourself, you have so much more strength to deal with it all.
I am by no means an expert, I can only speak from my own personal experiences, and I have overcome a lot of disorders, depression, and all around toxic lifestyle choices by starting to really look at my diet. I can't remember the last time I have taken any kind of pill, other than a vitamin, and I can't remember the last time I have had a headache, stomachache, etc. I do still battle depression obviously because I'm not happy where I live, but it's not the same kind of taking over your life kind of depression that I have experienced in the past. I notice on days where I'm struggling a little more, I will drink some lemon water with chia seeds, and for whatever reason that helps. I enjoy nerding out and reading various macrobiotic and holistic books and finding remedies. Unfortunately when I try to pass along my little gems, I don't get a lot of interest, but whatever, they can have their pills, surgery, and botox, I will have my delicious, vegan food and yoga and good thoughts.

If The Shoe Fits......

I never intended to become a cat lady. Not that I was ever opposed to the idea either. I always have dreamed of having a little house with a lot of land, and having tons of all kinds of animals. I just figured that I would be content where I was living before taking on such a feat. But life is spontaneous, and doesn't always stick to the plan, so here I am, a bit of a crazy cat lady. I have more than five, but less than ten feline babies. Long story short,  I had one cat, Dylan who loves daiya, discovered Stevie, who was a stray living under a neighbors van, adopted her, she had babies, I fell in love, my boyfriend at the time did not share the love, gave me a me or them ultimatum, lost him along the way, then most recently discovered Robin, and here I am. I love them all, and I feel that my previous relationship was toxic, and I think we would have stayed together longer than we should, if this wouldn't have forced us to break up. I also have learned about myself through taking this on. I learned that I needed to gain more patience, and let me tell you something, I didn't have a choice at times, it's either be patient, or go insane. Watching the kittens since birth has been amazing too. Seeing all their little personalities, from itty bitties till now has also been amazing. I feel like having all of this youthful energy around Dylan has been beneficial for him also. I feel like they are keeping him young. And he is such a trooper as well. He has been very open with sharing his food, home, litter box, bed, and attention. There is only one human in this home to give all the pets, so sometimes he has to wait his turn!
I do sometimes feel weighed down by these kitties, as moving out of this city would be so much easier if it were just me and Dylan. I feel that way a lot to be honest, but at the same time, I still would keep them even if I could go back. So it's a weird, complicated way that I feel, so I guess it really is love. Ha!
I have been able to give them shelter and food, and love, and they provide me with so much love and amusement. I can't stand the thought of animals living in small cages, hoping that some human will pick them and give them a home. If I could, I would adopt more, every time I go to petsmart, and they have people from the local shelter, I have to stop myself. When people ask me how many cats I have, I always hesitate and lower the number I guess because I fear the judgment, (or that someone might know my landlord!) I think it's sad that I live in a city where it is more socially acceptable to use horrible racial slurs in public, than to be a cat lady, but what can I do.
My plan still is to save money, buy a van, and move myself and my fam out of here. It will take longer, and need more planning, but again, these are not bad things, I could use more planning, as I tend to be way impulsive, might as well give a new way a try.
The biggest thing I have learned is love. I know it might sound so hallmarky, but this has opened my heart to love in a way that I haven't experienced, and it has given me more purpose, and I feel good about myself and this decision, which I haven't always been able to say in my life. I feel in many ways that these kitties saved me as much as I saved them, and they continue to save me. Most days they are the only living creature who are happy to see me, and want to spend time with me!
If you have a fur baby who is an only child, I really recommend adopting a friend for him/her. I know that Dylan is so much more alert and perky, I think he was lonely before, and I was just to doofy to realize it. And the love you get is out of this world.
Aside from the judgment and jokes, I enjoy my life as a Crazy Cat Lady.

I Needed a Chit Chat Apparently

For any singletons out there, I'm sure you also battle the cooking for one syndrome. Almost all recipes are for at least 2 people, most are for 4 or more. I understand and accept this fact. I'm sure many reasons factor into this imbalance. Regardless of the reasons, over the years as my cooking skills have improved, I find that I look at recipes more for ideas, than I kind of just adapt. I like leftovers to a degree, but I have a personal preference of  three days or under to eat the leftovers. I feel that after the third day all flavor and nutrients have left the food. And I like a variety in my diet, I cannot eat the same thing over and over. Even when I'm super broke, and all I can afford are lentils, a couple of onions, and a carrot, you can believe I am going to make as many different things as I can out of those ingredients. And nothing frustrates me more than when I do follow a recipe, and it ends up being just okay, and meanwhile I have all of this to eat. I prefer for the most part to create my own, and even if it is just okay, at least I have only one serving to eat. Sometimes when recipes I see have fancy/expensive ingredients, I also don't need the reminder that I am so low on the totem pole of life, that I can't even get an ingredient for food! I try to make food enjoyable, as I have already wasted enough of my years with really screwed up thoughts and actions regarding food. I find cooking and eating to be very calming, and relaxing, and I want to always keep it that way.
Two recipes I have found that I do like to make and follow full instructions are Snobby Joes from Veganomicon, and vegan baked beans, which I don't have a recipe that I'm loyal to, I usually just Google vegan baked beans, and whatever recipe uses ingredients I have on hand, I make! I am loyal to Snobby Joes. The reason I like these in their full form is that I can change them up. I make baked beans and have for dinner one night, then for the next couple of days I have beans on toast for breakfast(which is so delicious by the way), and also baked beans stuffed inside a baked potato with some nutritional yeast sprinkled on top YUM! Same rules for Lentil Joes, sandwich for dinner, on toast for breakfast, or in a quesadilla. Also, snobby joes are great as a topping for a baked sweep potato. That's my idea and suggestion for bulk cooking for one, make a pot of your favorite beans, and use them many different ways, for example garbanzo beans, use for hummus, no-tuna salad, as a topper for a green salad, tossed with garlic, crushed red pepper and pasta. Then you don't get bored, and you also have something already made that you can plan a meal around. I think beans are not only a vegans best friend in terms of nutrition, but they are the wallet's best friend too!
Wow, my intent was not to write all about beans, but I just went with it. I woke up today feeling very isolated and sad, now I feel a little better. I guess I just needed to chatter.
I guess my original point was going to be that it can be frustrating to cook for one, but with a little practice and try, try, again attitude you can cook for one, be broke, and still have some variety in your life.

Out With the Old, In with the New

I was doing a yoga video on YouTube last week, (Sara Beth yoga is the channel if you're interested.) and she said something that really spoke to me, and it's something I'm challenging myself to do. She said you have to let go of the old, to make room for the new. I practice that when it comes to clothing, household items, etc. but I don't think to do that emotionally. It made me realize I have to let go of some things, and I have to let go of some ways of handling stress and disappointment. I'm working towards being a healthier person, so I have to get rid of the funk to make way for the health. I know I need to work on maintaining my positive thinking, even when around negative people. That is something that has cursed me my whole life. I am very affected and drug down by negative people, and I can even think of times where I have allowed myself to be shamed for trying to have a positive outlook. And I want to fully drop all negative thoughts and behaviors of my own. I can only be fulfilled if I allow it, and have room for it. Have you ever noticed those older couples who just look so disgusted with life, each other, the world, that even something amazing like winning the lottery, or an exotic trip, or anything wonderful would barely bring a smile to their face? I have seen so many of those kind of people in my years as a server, and that is one of my biggest fears, getting to the point where you just accept misery, that's all you will ever know, and you are completely unavailable for joy. That ship has sailed.
Well, my ship hasn't sailed, not even close. My hope for myself is that on my deathbed, I'm still holding out for a solution to whatever has put me on my deathbed. I get in my moods where everything seems dark and hopeless, but so far those moods are always temporary, and I am actively working on making those moods appear less often. Especially because I can't change where I live as soon as I would like, and I certainly cannot end the isms that this city runs on, but I can work on my own reaction to them. It seems daunting, because I don't know how not to get physically ill when I hear such hateful bigotry, but I'm trying to learn, because I want to change things in this world.
Thee toxic, cynical, negative people change very little for the good.
Today I am grateful that I can vent about some upsetting things on this blog, and then let them go and not hold on to the negativity.

Draino

I have to accept the fact that once again I have nothing cheerful to say. I have been sitting in front of this blank screen for a long time, and I just want to whine, cry, and pound my fists. I guess I want to tantrum. As I have unfortunately mentioned multiple times, I live in a city where racism is extremely prevalent. I can't say I've gotten used to it, or accepted it, but I guess I thought at least I had kind of "heard it all", and maybe wouldn't be so affected by the hate. Well, I had not "heard it all", and Friday night at work a co-worker was recalling what I'm sure she thought was a charming little story that involved something her twelve or thirteen year old son said, and it is so effing offensive I won't even repeat it, but I seemed to be the only person who did not find it charming. It's so sad that racism keeps getting passed down, I find it more sad that her young son feels this way. I've heard her use the word many times, so obviously this kid has grown up with that word, and all the hate that goes along with it. And let me tell you something I have learned about racist people, they carry hate and intolerance for many things, not just people who have a different skin tone. They scare me, and that hate is palpable, and sometimes I'm more able to let it bounce off of me, but wow not this time. It's very hard to feel so isolated, I don't think I've not had at least one co-worker or friend that I could share my outrage with, but I don't. And although my feline friends abhor racism, I can only have so many one sided conversations before I really feel like I'm losing it!
I guess what I'm trying to say to anyone who reads this, give your non-racist co-worker a hug, even if he/she is a gossip, annoying, know it all, etc. If they don't have a hateful heart, give 'em a hug!