Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Hope Springs Eternal

When I opened my Yogi tea this morning, my teabag told me patience pays. It's funny, because patience is something I have been working on for quite some time. It's also funny, because as anyone who has been reading this blog knows, I am beyond unhappy in the town I live in. I have been  in a state of emotional emergency for a very long time. I have had some really dark thoughts, and it just has been real bad. I have felt trapped in a way because of my fur family, and the expense of a move. I've known that I don't belong here, but I haven't known how to get myself and my cats out of here. Well, I couldn't be happier to announce that I am moving back to the west coast! Seattle to be exact. I am moving back to the city I most identify as home! I have recently been communicating with someone from my past who lives in Seattle, and a plan of attack came into action! I will be moving at the end of June, and even though it's so close, it seems soooo far away! I will be moving with my whole fur family, and it will be quite the adventure, I'm sure. Although it's kind of scary, I couldn't be more excited. I've said it a million times, but I truly think moving to this city was one of my biggest mistakes in my life. If anyone watched Lost, you might remember how Jack kept trying to tell people it was a mistake that they left the island, that's exactly how I have felt. For me, I know that it's not so much that I need to be in Seattle, but I need to not be in this city. I really didn't even realize how depressed I was this winter, until springtime came. I feel like a thousand pounds of depression was lifted off of my shoulders. The loneliness and isolation I have felt for over three years has taken a toll on my mental state for sure. I sometimes wonder if I will ever be the same. I don't know how to describe it, but I feel like I've been in solitary confinement for years, and I feel a little damaged. That's why I've known for awhile that I need to make a move. This city is the way it is, and the general population seems very happy with the status quo. Not every place is for everybody. Anyway, I will be talking about all things moving as I get closer to the date. I don't have many details ironed out, but I know that everything will work out. This is the happiest I've been in over three years, so it feels pretty good to have some hope back in my life. It feels good to be taking an active part in pulling myself out of this funk I've been in for far too long. I can't wait to see Seattle through new eyes. Everything is going to be so beautiful and amazing! Things that used to get on my nerves are going to be welcomed with my open arms. All those great songs and quotes about not knowing what you have till it's gone, and taking things for granted are soooooooooooooooo true!! Hipsters, here I come, with hugs to hand out!
I hope everyone is enjoying spring, it's so nice seeing the daffodils and tulips popping up. After such a traumatic winter, it's nice to see signs of life!! Have a wonderful day!

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