No Poo for life!!!

I have been reading about using baking soda as shampoo and apple cider vinegar for a conditioner for a few years and was always intrigued by the idea, but it just seemed to scary to try. And I've been called a hippie once or twice! About 6 months ago, I decided that I was going to try it sometime this year! I still kept putting it off till about a month ago. It was love at first wash. Just like when you clean with white vinegar, the smell goes away I swear. I may be more on the natural side, but I draw the line at my hair smelling like vinegar! The first two times I washed my hair this way it was amazing! Then I hit a 2 or 3 day oily patch, which from what I've read is normal, it's just you're hair's natural ph balance coming back to normal. Apple cider vinegar helps with dandruff, and apparently it is a natural humectant which means it helps seal in moisture. When I think of all the money through the years I've spent on particularly conditioners I feel ill. Not to mention all the plastic packaging. And I never was happy with my hair. I always felt like it was dry and weighed down, which it was weighed down by all the weird stuff they put in conditioners! What is half of that stuff anyway? And why is alcohol in so many conditioners? I am certainly not a scientist, but when did alcohol become moisturizing and conditioning? And some of the ingredients sound flammable! I always felt weirded out by the ingredient list but what can you do? I don't know about you, but I wasn't taught any other way to wash my hair. I would say the first two weeks or so, I had to be patient, like I said, I had a couple of oilier than I would have liked days, and a couple of days I rubbed the tiniest bit of coconut oil in the ends of my hair, as they were feeling a little dry. But now that I'm in my fifth week, my hair feels so great! It's shiny, and soft, and all of the things I've always wanted it to be! And as an added bonus, I think since I've been taking such better care of my body, my hair is healthier and thicker! I am saving so much money, and using less plastic. and my hair is healthier than ever! Don't try it if you are super skeptical, but curious. Let it mill around in you're head for a bit, and you'll know when you're ready to try it. It is really different, and it takes some time to get used to the different way you're hair feels. And like everything in life, it's probably not for everyone. But I say if you're open to it, and looking for a change, seriously try it. I can't really imagine that I will ever use traditional shampoo and conditioner again! I don't really measure at this point but I can tell you how I make my potions. I use a jar for my poo, and an old Bragg's squeeze bottle for my conditioner. I probably put about two or three tablespoons of baking soda and the rest water and bam poo! And about the same ratio for the conditioner. I only wash my hair every other day, so these containers last me a week or more. If you are curious hop on YouTube you'll see a ton of videos with girls with gorgeous hair who use this method. And also like in every thing you can see videos of people who had no luck. I'm no expert I can only speak for myself when I say it has worked wonders for my hair. I say you don't know until you try something but do you're own investigating to make sure if you're scared! Oh one more thing, just like if you make you're own vinegar solution to clean, you can add any essential oil you like to you're conditioner. Be patient and good luck!

Proud of Happiness

I came home from work on Friday night, completely emotionally drained as usual. I turned on my laptop and first noticed that I got my first comment on my blog!! (thanks Amanda!) So I was instantly cheered up, and then came the most amazing thing that has happened to me in seriously maybe 10 years, and maybe longer! One of my idols and someone I look to for inspiration has a video on one of her YouTube channels about one of MY blogposts! I can't believe I am still alive to tell you the truth I can't believe I didn't keel over! I'm talking about Eco-Vegan Gal!!! And if you are reading this and are not familiar please do yourself the biggest favor find her on YouTube. I was crying tears of I don't even know what I think it was a combo of happiness, pride and seriously I don't even know what else, but I know that all of the tears were happy ones! I don't have a lot of experience with positive feedback when it comes to my feelings and my opinions. I am completely overwhelmed with gratitude and those two amazing things made it so easy to shake off the toxic cooties! I hope you know, Whitney (or Eco-Vegan Gal) that you made me feel so wonderful! I didn't realize how much I needed that! That feeling I had is something that I will always cherish and remember. I hope someday I encourage someone. The takeaway from this is embrace happiness because then you have the extra energy to give and spread to other people, and you never know how much someone might need it. Let this be a lesson to put yourself out there. I feel so proud and happy and please look at my blog, I have a lot to learn, and it was so scary to start, but the words come easier every time I write! And most importantly it is very therapeutic. I never thought it was a possibility for me to feel proud of myself for something I've written. I can't say it enough thank you Eco-Vegan Gal you and Amanda! And thank you anyone who is reading this, I know there are a lot of blogs out there. I am getting some lessons this week, so please keep checking it out cause it's going to be improving greatly! Encourage yourself today, and encourage yourself! And be proud if you are happy!!

Drinking stinging nettles?

About a month or so ago I read something about nettle tea, and I was surprised to find out it was tea made from actual stinging nettle! Man stinging nettle is so annoying. It has definitely put a damper on many a nature walk for me! So I wanted to learn more about drinking this nasty little plant. It has a ton of health benefits! To just name a few, lessens nausea, reduces inflammation, supports the kidneys, and can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. These are just a few of the benefits. I did my research, I totally nerded out and pretty much read all I could. I did read to check with you're doctor as it can interfere with some medications, so please keep that in mind. As I am not on anything, I was on a mission to find these teabags. I looked in every grocery that I thought might actually have more of a tea selection than Lipton Tea. No luck. I figured at the very least the co-op would have these elusive to me teabags. I checked there last, and was surprised to see that they didn't have the bags. Then I remembered that they sell loose teas in bulk, and shazam  there is a whole jar of dried nettle leaf! The best news, I filled up my bag, weighed it and guess what? 66 cents! I bought a little stainless steel tea ball that was like 2.50. While doing all of my research, I checked on prices and the bags can range anywhere from 2.50 to 5.39. So I got quite the deal and I have to say that the bag lasts me over 2 weeks and I brew multiple batches a day and most boxed teas have 12 to 16 bags. It has a the most neutral, crisp taste. I really love it. As it's been getting warm where I live I've only had it iced, but I'm sure it would be equally refreshing warm. Maybe this is tmi, but one of the benefits I read was that it helps with menstrual cramps and bloating. Well I found this to be true on my last cycle and I found my emotions were a little easier to handle also. So I am so not even close to being a doctor, but I can tell what my experiences and benefits are. If you want to try it, I recommend finding a co-op, or a whole foods, or anywhere in you're city/town that sells loose leaf bulk tea. If I were to buy the bagged tea, it would be a once in awhile treat because as I've said I am on a tight budget. My budget really is so tight I don't know if it even qualifies as a budget. (you really have to have a sense of humor). So now all I need to do is spend 66 cents every 2 or 3 weeks and I can drink as much as i want! If you're on a budget, or even if you're not seek out bulk. I'm not talking Costco I'm talking bulk bin. I have had to skip over certain recipes in the past because I can't afford to spend seven or eight dollars on some random spice that who knows when I will use it again! Well, with bulk spices you can buy as much or as little as you need. And if you're like me and you reuse old spice jars, you would not believe the savings! I once spent 77 cents on crushed red pepper, came home, put it in a crushed red pepper jar that if memory serves, I had paid 7.49 give or take. I filled that jar up and had some left over for a refill! I only buy bulk spices now and it has allowed my broke ass to be able to buy and use spices I've never used before. So I said a lot just to really say that although I do dislike coming across nettles in nature, I sure do like drinking them once they've been dried! If you're looking for a new iced tea,  I say try nettles! Have a groovy day!

The shame of happiness

Just like how when you quit smoking, you're taste buds and sense of smell really come alive, I've noticed when you are taking the steps toward happiness and inner health, you really become more sensitive to toxic people. I've noticed when I'm at work, people are chit chatting about what's going on, etc. and when I mention a particular workout, or how good I feel, or god forbid anything vegan related the looks on peoples faces is either total boredom, wtf, or "I wish she would just shut up" or sometimes a combo of all 3!  Which is really okay if you're not into what I'm into, but my problem is that I have to listen to gossip, bitching, this aches, that aches, "oh my lung hurts but I have to smoke a pack a day, let's get drunk tonight and so on and so forth. I have not come up with how to be surrounded by negativity and not absorb it. Even if I manage to not be a participant in the negativity, I still have to hear it, and since I'm a server, sometimes the customers can be a bit taxing, so I usually go home feeling very defeated, depressed, and probably a little toxic myself. I happen to live alone, but I'm sure if I had a partner/roommate, they would get an earful. I have made a promise to myself that even if I get temporarily pulled down, it's only for a short while and I actively work on pulling myself back up. That is usually where Eco-Vegan Gal, and Freelee the banana girl come in. Or sometimes it's reading a couple of my fave vegan blogs, anything to remind me that I'm not alone, and I don't have to sink to the dark side yet again. That I can and should keep doing what I'm doing because I feel great and I feel like I'm actively participating in my life and my health and it feels so great. This blog might be a mess right now but I'm learning everyday, and putting myself out there, and my body is sore in a good way from a hard workout, and I feel great after eating a ton of watermelon for breakfast! If this were 2 years ago, I would probably be nursing a hangover and on my 5th cigarette of the day. Even a year ago I wouldn't be dealing with a hangover, but I probably would have been on my 8th cigarette of the day. And although I have been vegan for over 5 years now, I haven't  always paid much attention to what my body needs. I say all of this to say that it is so sad that people aren't content to stew in their own funk, they want to funk everyone else too. Well my friends life is too short and I have spent entirely too much of my life in that world, and I can't go back. I truly want to be kind to myself and the earth, and of course animals and I want to help and encourage others. I can't stress it enough that you have to be kind to yourself  first. I swear I am not trying to be cheesy and say  that all you have to do is be kind to yourself and all the toxic people go to toxic island, but what I have truly learned from my experiences trying to fight negativity when I was engaging in toxic behavior myself, versus fighting it now that I am not engaging in toxic behavior now it is still hard to be around and always will be, but it's so much easier for me to bounce back now. It is a very noticeable improvement. I now have the ambition and strength to find ways to change my life, instead of feeling hopeless so I'm just going to drink, smoke, and bitch the night away. So if I can make this change I really know anyone can. I truly believe if people were happier the world would be a kinder place for everyone. We would care about the health and welfare of every one, people, animals, plants, the earth, space, water etc. Sorry went on a rant ha ha. If you're really stuck in a toxic place and you want out, it really has to start with taking the best care of yourself as possible. That gives you the strength to fight off as much negativity as possible, keep you're sanity, and put you're energy into finding ways to get more good vibes in you're life. In closing, if you feel alone, I cannot recommend YouTube enough! YouTube friends are better than no friends. And sometimes it's almost creepy when I'm feeling a little down, and Eco-Vegan Gal, or Freelee have posted videos that hit on topics that I really need to hear in that moment. YouTube is the new and cheaper therapy! Have a wonderful day, and if you read my ramblings thank you, and I hope you have a toxic free day!

Just Mayo newish vegan mayo review!!

So I've been reading about Just Mayo for awhile. Hampton Creek is a company that is funded by Bill Gates and they are really aiming to make healthier food for both us and the environment. And what I found interesting is that Bill Gates is one of the backers. The first product on the shelves is Just Mayo. As most vegans I have had a long affair with vegenaise. I actually never thought I would even get to try Just Mayo, but much like the kettle chips, Just Mayo magically appeared at my local co-op. ( thank god for co-ops!) Anyway when I saw that jar I knew I had to try it. The bonus was that since it was a new item, the co-op had it on a sweet sale. My food budget is tight, but lucky for me, this happened to be a week I could afford one impulse item. I got it home and because I had just made a batch of coconut bacon, I felt I needed to make a blt (clt?). Let me just tell you that I really feel guilty because Just Mayo is now my mistress! It is so effing smooth and creamy and the taste is amazing! I never ate a whole lot of mayo before going vegan so my memory is a little hazy, but to me it reminded me of if mayonnaise and miracle whip mated and had a baby with the absolute best features of both parents. I like the texture better also. Sometimes vegenaise freaked me out a little cause sometimes it kind of separates in a weird and clumpy way. I have also used it to make my famous chick pea salad. Yum!  I'm glad I found this on sale and am able to pass on my opinion if anyone is interested. As I've mentioned over and over I am on a strict budget, and it's always a bummer when you splurge, and it's a dud. I think if any vegans out there live with non-vegans, or even just know non-vegans, and let's face it we all do, I think you should make a sandwich and use Just Mayo. I bet they would fall in love! And the way I see it we want to save animals lives. And even if someone eats a non-vegan sandwich, but uses Just Mayo, that is less suffering. The world is not always black and white, there is a ton of grey area. I live in the meatiest, most intolerant city I have ever lived in so I know what an uphill battle it is to try to get people to care enough to give up all meat pizzas and bacon double cheeseburgers with a side of bacon mayonnaise. But if someone tastes one thing that they are convinced will suck, and it doesn't, that opens their mind a little bit, and maybe they will tell other bacon mayonnaise lovers that wow this eggless mayo is pretty damn good. So I cannot recommend Just Mayo enough! And the Hampton Creek website is pretty interesting also, and they have recipes!

Let's get physical! And a learn techie stuff update

As I've talked about already, I am on a mission of total health an most importantly self love. It's quite the mission. One thing I've really stepped up is my physical fitness. Luckily for me even in my most drunken of times I still tried to do at least 20 to 30 minutes of yoga a day. I've always believed moving you're body is important. But when I was not really taking care of myself, I think I "phoned in" a lot of workouts. So anyway I have not been taking it easy and I feel so much stronger. Today I walked to a little store to get some bananas and I felt all my muscles humming away and working together! It was a really great feeling! And I want to let anyone who might not know this because I only discovered this myself in the last couple of years that YouTube has pretty any type of workout you could ever imagine! Working out in a gym is not in my budget, or even something I would want to do. Trust me when I'm doing hip hop abs, I know I look like the biggest dweeb ever, but who cares? I'm having fun and definitely breaking a sweat. And I don't have to spend a lot of money on fancy gym clothes or shoes. For me anyway it's a win-win. I know that there are people who enjoy the gym, or taking  classes too. That's what is so cool. There is something for everyone! The great thing about YouTube is that there are so many types of every kind of workout you could imagine. And so many different types of  teachers or instructors. Back in the day when you would buy dvd's  sometimes after awhile it could get a little boring which for me anyway can lead to blowing it off or really just kind of half assing it. Plus I've been introduced to a lot of really great workouts. I mean hip hop abs is so great, and one of my favorite new to me workouts is Buti Yoga. Wow it's yoga, it's cardio, it's tribal dance! The first time I did it, I thought I was going to DIE! But I also felt really groovy. I find that after I do Buti Yoga, I feel very empowered as a woman. Let's hear it for hip openers! Just check out YouTube if you are too broke or too shy to go to a gym. There is something for anyone, I promise.  And now on to my mission of learning how to run a proper blog. I asked my co-worker if her boyfriend (who is a web designer of some sort) if he would give me a few lessons and how much will he charge. I only see her on Friday, so I'll find out in a few days. I really hope he will! I haven't asked my dad about one of his it guys yet. I'm afraid he might offer to help me, and let's just say his teaching style and my learning style don't really see eye to eye and I want to learn not cry or pull out my hair. So in the meantime I'm trying to teach myself while I can. To be continued...

Earth balance vegan cheddar flavor kettle chips

So about one or two months ago I started reading about earth balance coming out with some snack foods. I know they have vegan sour cream and onion kettle chips, vegan white cheddar popcorn, vegan cheese nip type crackers, and I'm sure more that I haven't seen, or don't know about. I kind of assumed I wouldn't be able to find any of these products in the town/ city I live in. In addition to that, 3 weeks ago I started following freelee the banana girl, so I've been doing raw till 4, high carb, tons of fruit, so chips are kind of off my radar lol. Well, about 2 weeks ago I was at my local co-op, and lo and behold, I see earth balance sour cream and onion, and cheddar kettle chips! At first, I have to focus on keeping my mouth from just hanging open, and then when the shock finally went away, I had to decide which flavor to try. I chose cheddar. I got these babies home, and for two weeks did not touch them because since I am aiming for total health, and have genuinely been feeling good, I didn't want to risk putting a bunch of junk, even vegan junk in my body. Well, Saturday afternoon, I just needed salty, crispy, badness. So I looked and these are non- gmo, vegan, kosher, and no trans fats. Also there are no ingredients that I can't pronounce or that I don't know what the hell they even are. So I'm not saying that these are healthy, but in regards to chips in my opinion they are an okay sometimes treat. Now on to the taste. I really don't even know what to say. They are so delicious! The texture is perfect, they have just the amount of crunch and crisp. Sometimes I find kettle chips to be a little too crunchy in a dense way if that makes sense. But likewise sometimes the crispy chips can be a little flimsy flamsy if that makes sense lol. And I always felt a little queasy after eating too many Lay's brand cheddar chips. I think the grease and the fake flavoring always got the best of me. The earth balance chips are not super greasy at all and they don't have that super overpowering fake cheddar flavor. The flavor is subtle but so wonderful! I can't wait to try the cheese nip type cracker, because I always loved cheese nips in my pre vegan days, but i always got that same queasy feeling after eating them. So based on the awesomeness of the cheddar kettle chip, I can't wait to try all the snacks they offer! If you have been missing cheddar flavored chips in you're life, these may fill the void! In case anyone is curious I an proud of myself the bag says 13 chips are a serving and I have been sticking to that. Moderation!

Easy, cheap earth friendly cleaning

Something I sometimes struggle with is the price of the more eco friendly cleaning products. When you are on a very tight budget, sometimes you can hardly afford food and regular cleaning products, let alone the organic products. For years this has been a huge source of frustration for me, and I have to admit than in the past I have used bad products when I've been in a financial pinch. And I've been in many pinches! About a year or so ago, I decided to try the vinegar, baking soda combo. And I have not looked back! I love it and I cannot recommend it enough. Baking soda is a great exfoliator, and it really does scrub away spots. And the vinegar really is streak free. Anything more delicate, and also windows and mirrors I use only vinegar. Both of these ingredients are non-toxic and super duper cheap. I know that we are conditioned to believe we need very harsh chemicals for anything tobe clean and sanitary and in my opinion from everything I've read, from various people and sources, It just is not true. The vinegar smell goes away almost immediately. It's nice to know that I can actually eat off my kitchen floor. I think some of the scary chemicals in some of those cleaners are scarier than dirt! At first I was paranoid because we think we have to smell bleach, or some kind of weird fakey floral or cinnamon, or whatever. So you have to be patient and let yourself relearn what clean smells like. I promise you're place is clean! And vinegar and baking soda are definitely cheaper than even the cheap store brand. I use an old spray bottle and use about 2 or 3 tablespoons of baking soda and the same amount of vinegar and fill the bottle with warm water and clean away! These are not exact measurements, and they change depending on the strength I need. So just play around until you have the strength you need. I don't personally do this, but I know a lot of people who use this method add a few drops whatever essential oil they like. Give it a few tries!

A little about me

In case anyone is taking the time to read this blog, you might be wondering why I don't just sign up for a computer class. I am truly too terrified. I signed up for a class on computers at my local library, and I was too much of a wimp to go. Years and years ago I was signed up for a computer class, and the first day the teacher passed out these weird foam rubber bricks and told us to throw them at anyone who asked a dumb question and guess what? Yes I did get these bricks thrown at me. It was so awful. I don't remember the question, I just remember those bricks and I never went back. At that point I gave up on classes of any kind. and I think I just thought I was too dumb. I never really gave it a whole lot more thought and just did various jobs, such as waitressing, bartending , etc. But guess what? When you don't have a college education, there just aren't a lot of choices. I didn't know that back then. Now. I'm so burned out on serving people, and being abused I could really crawl in a ball and cry. So that's kind of the condensed version of why I haven't  just hopped on into a computer class. I think I'm going to see if someone who fixes computers at my dad's job will help me. Kind of like an adult tutor. So I have a plan to learn how to make my blog great, and I have been doing so much research on becoming a better writer. In addition to this blog, I have tons of notebooks going. I really enjoy it. I actually really love learning, I think I just don't do well in a class type of setting. So it feels really great to be learning and making these goals and although I probably should have learned how to really operate a blog first that would allow me to procrastinate but this silly little blog I started is really making me stay focused and that is so great! Because even if no one ever reads this blog, improving my writing skills and learning how to really use a computer for more than surfing the web will be an improvement in my goals. I'll be talking to my dad this weekend and definitely writing about the outcome! I can't wait to really put my all into this! Have a wonderful day!!!

Goals

I was going to specify what goals in my title, but I decided to leave it open because like most of us I have a lot of goals. I'm looking at my goals as a ladder, each one I accomplish helps with the next, and they all help get me to the top. The trick is not giving up halfway there. I am definitely guilty of giving up. Anyway as I said yesterday I hope to find someone who can at least teach me the basics, then I think I can learn more specific things without getting so overwhelmed. Then I want to get a camera so I can post pictures. I love to cook, so it will be so awesome to be able to post recipes and pictures! And make paragraphs lol. I really jumped on the computer bandwagon way too late. That's why I'm so out of the loop. I used to think computers and the internet were the enemy! I kind of laugh at myself now, but a small part of  me thinks I'm a sellout! But I'm here now, and I'm kind of hooked. I enjoy writing this blog, and it's going to be so great when I truly know what I'm doing! I have been researching improving you're writing skills also.  I've been writing more than 1,000 words a day and various other exercises. The more you do something, the better you get. I feel excited and I hope I can pass along that excitement to other people. And as I learn more I'm going to write about it. I know I'm not the only person who feels scared to learn some of this stuff and feels held back in life because of those fears! People love to say " there's no such thing as a stupid question" and it's a lovely thought, however I have definitely had people be very mean to me either because of a question I asked or because of something I didn't know. Learning should never hurt. And my goal to get healthier is helping with the blogging/ writing because I do feel better and my mind is feeling sharper, and I am feeling more confident as my fitness level is improving so I feel great and I hope in my little way I can help other stuck vegans as I help myself! Even if I have to teach myself all the techie stuff!

Seeking out inspiration

What's a girl to do when she feels all alone in a town full of meat eating bullies? Find friends on youtube! If only youtube had been around when I was a teenager! I've been watching Eco- Vegan Gal's channel for awhile and I really love her. I find her to be really inspirational and even though I don't know her, I feel like she is supportive of me. Actually her recent video on her uncensored channel about education and power changing the world is what made me start this blog again! I watched it and really had tears running down my face almost the whole time! If anyone is reading this blog, I really cannot say enough good things about her youtube channels! Especially if you need a little support and motivation to keep fighting for positive changes! I've also recently discovered Freelee the banana girl. I'm not usually one to follow any kind of diet or lifestyle other than vegan of course.  But she is so healthy and vibrant and everything I'm striving for I said why not. It clearly won't kill me! For the past 3 weeks I have been eating primarily fruit ( raw of course) and then sometimes a cooked dinner, other times  a huge salad. I've also been doing some pretty kick- ass workouts. I feel great and I really do have a lot of energy and I feel stronger in my mind and my body. And when people talk about carbs they always mention being weighed down, but I feel light on my feet! I have wasted too many years of my life not being good to myself and not being good to anyone else, and certainly not helping any animals other than not eating them myself. And I don't want to waste any more of my life being unhealthy. I want to find my voice and be brave in my convictions and not cave in to negativity or people making fun. So I am so appreciative of these twon woman for putting themselves out there. And I know there is strength in numbers so when we all are on the same page and supporting each other and spreading the word and living by example, that equals animals live saved. On a total side note, I'm going to try to find someone to give me a few quick lessons on the techie stuff. When I look it up, and start reading, it's very hard for me to really get. So I feel like I need real visual and so on. So I hope to really be on the way to something great and if you do stop by, please be patient I am a work in progress just like this little blog!

Staying positive

So as I've mentioned I have a past of abusing myself in just about every way possible. I've been anorexic, bulimic, dabbled in cocaine, smoked cigarettes, drank way too much, and spent way too much time with unsavory people and dated men who were not exactly good for me. I have been trying to really figure out why I've hated myself all these years. And I've been working on loving myself. This has been a challenge for me. But I know I need to keep working because I know when you hate yourself you aren't putting a whole lot of good in the world. I've been eating a mostly raw diet, with a lot of focus on fruit and carbs[vegan of course] and I've been working out a ton and forcing myself to blog even though it's scary and I really don't know what I'm doing. But I really have been feeling great! But what I haven't figured out is how to deal with people and their toxicity infecting me.  I had this issue last week where I went to work feeling so great and happy and boom people are smoking in my face and laughing about how long me not smoking will last, another co worker is calling someone the n word, and " the chef" is yelling at the top of his lungs for me to shut the fuck up because I had the audacity to come into the kitchen singing a song. It was pretty intense and I totally lost it on "the chef"! I yelled right back at him at the top of my lungs. I still have not been able to shake the negativity all the way. I know that we will always have to deal with negativity but I just have never been able to fight toxic people. I'm ashamed to say that in the past because of my own issues I usually just cave to the dark side. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be happy and healthy inside and out and I want to let toxic people just roll off of me. Especially because I live in a toxic city and I work in a very toxic environment. I don't think anyone is reading this blog, but on the slim chance I'm wrong, if anyone has any tips I would love to hear them.

My love for animals

Ever since I can remember I have loved animals with a passion. I actually feel like I have a connection with animals on a deep level. I also was raised in a house where animals were respected and I have many fond memories of my mom defending animals. I remember when I was really young and my grandparents would read to me every night. I had them read me black beauty over and over and I always asked the same questions about how people could be so mean. And I still have those same questions now. When you love animals so much and you let people know, you can face a wide variety of responses. Some positive, but in my personal experience it has mostly been negative. I've even had people act as if I must not care about people because I love animals. It seems strange to have a good quality turned into something so negative. I catch myself losing my vegan voice because I just get so tired of the jokes, and having to explain, and defend. But I always snap out of it at some point and realize that I am allowed to feel the way I do and I have to speak up and continue to do my part in changing life for all animals. I live in a very intolerant city. I mean I seriously cannot even believe this place and way of thinking exists. So its even harder for me now. I am not exaggerating at all when I say I have never in my life heard more white people use the n word in my life. So human rights aren't really an issue here and the few times I've mentioned like wow the n word is not okay people look at me like what the eff is you're problem. So I have no hope of anyone caring about animals enough to give up bacon! When you see ridiculous products in grocery stores like bacon mayonnaise, I feel it was made for the people in the city I live in. But I've recently been on somewhat of a health journey, after years of being horribly abusive to myself  I am on a mission of self-love. I'm hoping that as pounds drop, skin glows and in general a healthy demeanor people will ask my secret. Women can be shallow and willing to follow the trail of whatever will make them look good. Even if I can convince someone to go meatless Monday that's saving lives. I truly believe that animals have as many rights as humans and they were not put on this earth for us to do with what we want, including destroying the planet. I do believe at some point there will be a price people pay for they're cruelty. And even if no one ever reads my blog, I hope I keep blogging to hold myself accountable and to not lose my voice.

Where am I going with this blog?

Along with learning all the techie stuff for blogging, I have also been reading up on the writing aspect of blogging. Although I've always had a lot to say, I've never really tried writing. So it seems I need to figure out what I really want this blog to be about. All I really know at this point is I want to focus on animal rights but also feelings, environment, just I guess for right now this blog is going to be scattered. I guess now is my time to figure it all out while no one is reading lol! I know that nothing would make me happier than really contributing to changing how we treat animals. Not just factory farming, but how people treat companion animals and nature in general. There is so much cruelty in this world that honestly it makes me want to leave this earth myself and pray I am never in human form again. But I want to try to change things and help animals and if I leave this earth who would take care of my companion animals? So I guess right now my blog is kind of like therapy. I don't even know how to separate into paragraphs! This is embarrassing! But I will learn and improve and soon I'll be posting photos.

Learning to blog is tough!

So as I said yesterday I an a newbie at blogging and really all things tech. But I love a challenge so I am attempting to teach myself  how to blog. I feel very overwhelmed and like maybe I should give up! Reading about javascript and html and url is a little tough for me. But I really want to blog and I want to prove to myself I can do this! So this is a true test to myself. Like a lot of people I tend to run away from situations where there is a risk of feeling or looking stupid and being judged. But trying to blog isin't going to kill me right? I don't think anyone has actually died of embarrassment! I was inspired by a video I watched by eco-vegan gal about education and empowerment and it made me cry tears of I really don't know what maybe inspiration? I don't know but she inspired me to go for   it. I find her very inspiring. Anyway I want to spread the vegan message and be part of a very wonderful community! I say all of this to say if you are reading this please be patient and keep checking back I will be learning how to improve things daily!

Let me try this again!

After a lame first try at blogging, I have decided this time I'm really going for it. I am working so har d on becoming healthy from the inside and I need to make some serious changes in my life. One of  the changes is finding some way to express myself. I don't really have a lot of people  who are really into what I am, or share the same values and it is lonely to say the least. I hope to tap into some online love and support. I've heard it exists and I hope to find it myself. Since I am on a journey and trying to learn and grow each day, so will this blog. As of right now it is embarrassing how little I know about blogging. I guess I should learn more first but I need to learn as I go. At the end of all of this, hopefully I will be an enlightened, happy, healthy, kick ass blogger! I'm going to do my best to blog everyday, like a journal. See you tomorrow!