Monday, September 28, 2015

Burritos and Life.

Today's Mofo prompt is yet another choice. Tacos or burritos? People are very passionate about both tacos and burritos. I'm in the middle, as usual, I love them both! I do tend to eat burritos more often, they are kind of the perfect hand held food, and you can fit a lot of stuff in there! I feel like a burrito has a better chance of being a complete package. You can fit rice, tofu or beans, and lots of veggies. So if I had to pick one of these two things to eat, I guess I would choose a burrito!
I wish I had a picture of a gorgeous burrito that I made for dinner last night, but I didn't eat dinner! I don't want to be a Debbie Downer on the last few days of Mofo, but I am having a bit of a personal crisis. It's not Dylan, so that's a relief. I'm going through a somewhat bad breakup. I'm very scared because I haven't yet found a job, and I am super worried about life. If it were just me, I wouldn't be so worried because I've gone through a lot in my life, but it's not just me, and I have my fur family to worry about. I fear that I am going to have to live a vegan's worst nightmare and take a job at some fast food place. I have never had to work in fast food, and I sure don't want to now, but I don't know what else to do. I am very scared right now, and to be honest I haven't really been able to do much more than cry for the last couple of days. Moving back to Seattle doesn't seem like the greatest idea anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love Seattle, but it's so expensive, and I am on the low  end of the wage spectrum. The laptop I have been using is his, because my laptop had a virus, and my now ex-boyfriend made the computer unusable when he attempted to "fix" it. So I don't even know how much longer I will be able to have access to a computer since he made it clear he's coming at some point to get his "stuff" which means his laptop, since there is nothing else of his here. When this happens, I guess I can go the library and blog, but it will be weird. I'm someone who like peace and quiet when I'm writing, or reading. But I will do my best to fight through any weird social anxiety I may have. It might sound goofy, but this blog is very important to me, and I'm very proud of myself for starting it, and I love it so much. It made me realize that I really enjoy writing, and I've even taken a few free classes at the library on writing! The library near my apartment has all kinds of free classes! I know that I must love to write if I braved a classroom environment, which I am deadly afraid of. So, I guess I'm getting off track here, sorry stress and bad sleeping equal a brain fry.
I'm sorry this has been not much to do with Mofo, but as I've mentioned before, life can get in the way, and I want to be honest about my life. Plus, I don't have a whole lot of humans to talk to about how I'm feeling, so this blog is like I'm talking to a friend!
I would appreciate any good luck vibes sent my way because things are looking bleak right now. But the good news is that this relationship needed to end. No one should ever be with someone who makes them feel bad about themselves, and that's what was happening to me. We all deserve to be loved, and respected, and we all deserve to be listened to.  I once commented that it hurt my feelings that he doesn't listen or seem interested when I talk, and he told me it's because he isn't interested in what I'm talking about. He has sated that veganism does not interest him, he doesn't care about politics or world events, and he doesn't like to read! Like anything, even a magazine or newspaper!
So, I feel like this is for the best, it's just that I might lose everything I love. Anyway, I'm so sorry for this rambling, crazy blog post!
Hopefully I will be back tomorrow to finish ot the last two days of Mofo with a bang!

12 comments:

  1. Stay strong! I know you can do it! I know things seem bad at the moment but something will pop up! I know it's weird to think about a veggie head working at a fast food joint but it's not unheard of! When I was lacto-ovo veg I worked (for a short time thankfully) at one...it just made me thankful even more that I don't consume those products! PLUS think of it like a stepping stone - you will only be there until something else comes along - that is even IF you end up at one to begin with! I bet you will find something else and even if you don't - try NOT to fret! I know it's easier said than done. Hang in there!

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  2. Thanks! I know that if I do work at one, you're right about feeling happy I don't eat that stuff! Thanks for reading and commenting. Even if it's just online, it's nice to have some support.

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  3. Good grief! I cant imagine what you ever saw in that boyfriend. Dont worry about blogging, you can go on hiatus and come back. Hard to believe you cant get a job. Have you looked on Craigslist?

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    1. At this point I don't know what I ever saw in him either. We were friends first, and he was a much better friend. I think that's why I stayed so long, because I really valued our long friendship. But I don't want friends like that. I have looked on Craigslist every day, and I've applied at sooooo many places!

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  4. Hugs to you. Your blog and writing is fantastic and I'm really pleased to have discovered it through Mofo. Try to keep writing even if you have to brave the library, Although if you need to take a break everyone would understand. I actually started my blog on Valentines Day in 2010 just after my ex had walked out. It helped me so much to have it as a focus and to connect with other vegans online. At the time I never thought I'd feel happy again. I'd also just started a new job I hated but couldn't leave. But 5 years later my life is better than I ever thought it could be. Things will get better. I've known a few veggies who've had to take jobs at places like McDonalds. If you've no other options I say do it. It will be a short term measure until something better comes along. Stay strong. You are a good person who deserves to be with someone who will appreciate you x}

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    1. Thank yo so much! I need to hear that life does improve, because right now it's pretty dismal. But if i have to work at Mcruels to feed my kitties, I will. Thank you so much for the kind words, I really need it and appreciate it!

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  5. There are so many of us out here that know what you are going through and are sending you prayers and positive vibes. My fur family has helped me get through so much. You will come through this a stronger person.

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  6. Thank you so much.. My kitties are really showing me some extra love lately, it's pretty amazing.

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  7. Sending lots of good thoughts your way! I'm so glad that I found your blog this MoFo & I'm hoping everything works out for the best for you! <3

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  8. Thank you so mch. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. I really hope so too!

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  9. (((Huge hugs)))
    You are one amazing awesome inspiring person who definitely deserves better than that in a relationship.
    The job market is tough out there! I've had success with temp agencies before- like I literally called (call first then email your resume) every one i could find, and was sent on a number of jobs from a day or two to several months long that paid decent money.
    Glad the fur babies are giving you some extra TLC
    Ttrockwood

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  10. Thanks for the tip about a temp agency. That's something I haven't done yet, And thanks for the kind words. I really needed it, and I appreciate them!

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