Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Extended Absence

                              
I thought this was a fun video. I'm always interested in what non vegans and vegetarians have to say about vegan foods because they're the ones we need to convince if we want to save animals. I think these Impossible burgers are impressing a lot of meat eaters.
I know on my last post I said I was taking the rest of December off for several reasons. The end of December was tough for me. There was Christmas, four days later my birthday, and then New Year's Eve was the one year anniversary of Dylan's passing. My heart actually physically hurt.
I'm taking a longer break from blogging than I expected, and I didn't want to just disappear without saying anything. For right now my heart just isn't in this, and I don't feel safe or comfortable sharing my life online. And I feel not a single ounce of hope for the new year. I thought about dialing back on life stories and just focusing on my food, but truth be told my food has been BEYOND boring. I have hit a creative block when it comes to food ever since finding out I have hypothyroidism. I've cut out gluten and all processed foods and I'm pretty miserable. I miss bread like you wouldn't imagine. Gluten free breads and such are not only hard to find, but ridiculously expensive. The worst part is that I don't even see a difference. I'm not losing weight, and I still feel sluggish, foggy and depressed. It's incredibly frustrating. It makes me wonder why I ever gave up smoking cigarettes and drinking. Living a healthier life seems to be doing me no good. At least alcohol numbed the pain for a few hours, and I knew that the extra weight was due to excessive beer. Now I have this extra weight, that shouldn't be there, and I'm having no fun.
I'm hoping at some point I will have a change of heart. There was a time where I got immense fulfillment and joy from blogging. It seriously saved my sanity many times. But a lot has changed and happened since those days. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. My eyes look dead. I have no spark or life in my eyes. It's like sadness and depression are invading my body and spirit.
Maybe one day I'll get my mojo back and feel like sharing again, but for now it's just not there. And considering what's about to happen in this country with Dump taking office soon, it makes me all the more sad and discouraged. I would rather talk politics in real life where if people want to be rude and attack me for my opinions they have to do it to my face, not anonymously through a comment section.
Sorry for such a downer of a post, but I just wanted to explain my absence and say that this experience and connecting with some really awesome vegans has been in the top five of amazing experiences in my life. I hope to stay in touch with everyone through blogs and all of that, and hope that one day I will feel ready to join in the mix again.                                                                                                                                 

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