Learning............

Today is going to be kind of another rant, but a good one. Maybe more of a blab fest ?Have you ever been living under a rock, and had the rock lifted, and after you're done squinting you just can't believe all that is out there? I feel like that happened for me with these simple quotes read during these yoga videos. They just really touched me, which led to me discovering The Four Agreements, which led to me learning about the author, Don Miguel Ruiz. How had I never heard of this book, or man? And this knowledge led me to wanting to learn more about Toltec teachings. I love feeling inspired, and I love learning new things, and new ways of dealing with this crazy thing called life. And honestly it has been a struggle dealing with some of the more toxic sides of life lately. When you spend so many years using an eating disorder as a way of coping, and then you switch to beer, and nicotine, it can be hard knowing what to do on your own. And my whole life I have been accused by EVERYONE of being too sensitive. I let people and their negative ways bring me down too often. I also take other peoples criticism to heart way too often, even when I know I shouldn't. I see how these issues have slowed down my journey in life. Anyway, dealing with the end of February and winters relentless wrath, I've been feeling very uninspired, and starting to feel very bland, and listless. I was having some thoughts on the darker side than I prefer, so this desire to learn more couldn't have come at a better time. It kind of just shows how none of us ever know how our words or actions can really make a powerful impact on someone else's life. And we all have nuggets of wisdom we can pass on to each other.
I'm hoping to make it to the library if the rumors are true that next week we might see temps in the twenties, and maybe thirties! (heat wave) In the meantime I plan on learning as much as I can find on the webz about this book, and the author. I also hope to be able to make it to Wegman's which has finally stocked their shelves with Chao vegan cheese! I have been reading the reviews, and hearing about all of the insanity, and stores selling out, and feeling like a vegan outsider. It took some effort to get it in the store, but I have a strong feeling it was worth it. It was stocked last week, but due to weather I wasn't able to get to Wegman's. (patience) I will be continuing to blab about The Four Agreements, and I have all my finger crossed, and all feline toes are crossed that I will be stuffing my face with some Chao cheese this weekend. I have read that Chao tastes good right out of the package, and that's what I'm most looking forward to! Cold, uncooked vegan cheese that isn't nut based? Who would have ever dreamed this day would come?

Timing is Everything!

So my patience got tested immediately after writing my last post. Like immediately, as I was trying to publish the post. All of a sudden I had no internet connection. My first thought of course was oopsie, where's the bill? I realized that the bill has been paid, so I'm fine there. In case anyone can't tell be the amateur vibe of my blog, I'm kind of a newb when it comes to technical parts of computers. My expertise is mostly with Google searches. (ha) So, after checking the few things I knew about, I started getting that frustrated, impatient feeling. I always stress when it's computer issues, and I have to have a human walk me through some issue over the phone. It's so embarrassing when they assume I know more than I do, and I have to ask them to dial it down a notch. So, instead of allowing myself to be reduced to tears as usual, I called Time Warner Cable, and it was a super simple fix. I just had to unplug, and plug in my router, and wireless adapter. It would have been such a waste of energy if I would have worked myself up. So, I had to make a choice, and I made a conscience choice to breathe, be rational, and be patient, both with myself and my little old computer.
I hope everyone is having a day filled with patience for yourself, and all other beings. And if you're like me and struggling with patience for this winter, all I can say is keep warm.

All we need is just a little Patience

Patience wasn't something that I was taught as a child, or was it practiced in my household. I've been making a conscience effort to work on developing patience with myself, and others. I'm starting to realize how much yoga is helping me. I don't know what's going on, but it seems like in the past month or so I've really been noticing a positive shift in my yoga practice. I have been working on some of these poses for what feels like years, just stuck at the same spot, not getting worse, but certainly not getting better. I have cursed, cried, and gotten pissed at whoever is teaching the class. I have gotten pissed at myself, and sworn that never would I ever try this that or the other pose again. I have said twists aren't my thang, hip openers aren't for everyone, and so on and so forth. But I do always go back. I always know that my irritation is all the more reason to keep trying. So last week I had a yoga breakthrough, and this morning I noticed my twists are getting way twistier, and poses that I still struggle with, I'm struggling less. I'm noticing improvement. It feels so amazing, and I realized that being patient with myself is what is leading to this progress. I have kept doing yoga, kept trying and I'm reaping the benefits. If I would have gotten pissed, and given up, as I have done with many other things, I would be an struggling, untwisty mess. By the way, twists are detoxifying so every time I feel myself twisting farther, I imagine I'm closer and closer to the happy, healthy place I want to be. It's a great visual. I hope to take my newfound knowledge, and desire of and for patience "off of the mat" as I hear a lot of yogi's say. Having patience seems to free up a lot of your mind for other, more positive thoughts. Being impatient leads to stress, and we all need less of that.
Something that I think kind of goes hand in paw with patience is not taking anything personally. One of my absolute favorite YouTube yoga channels is Fightmaster  Yoga, which is run(led?) by Lesley Fightmaster. At the end of her classes, when you are relaxing in your savasana,(final resting pose) she reads passages from some amazing books. The last few videos have been from a book called The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Miguel Ruiz. I must get my hands on this book. But the passages have been about how nothing, even someone calling you a name right to your face is personal. I look forward to these passages, they're very helpful, and I want to learn more. I feel like all of these things lead to being the most compassionate being you can be.
I'm going to stop here, I don't want to go on a babble-a-thon like I did yesterday.
"Progress, not Perfection".

Taste the Rainbow

I feel like one of the greatest things about becoming a vegan is that I really stepped up my cooking game. I loved to cook delicious vegetarian food, but looking back I see how heavily I relied on cheese, and unhealthy faux meats like Morningstar.  I didn't worry so much about getting all of my nutrients and anti-oxidants and super this from food. I would take a multiple vitamin, along with several other supplements and call it a day. I also was drinking things like vitamin water, and other strange concoctions brimming with "vitamins". Seriously, I cringe. But, when I went vegan I had to learn some things, and get creative. The delicious vegan convenience foods are a splurge for me, not a staple. So, as a cheese lover I had to find ways to create that taste. Daiya was not even in existence when I first made the leap, so I really struggled! While scouring cookbooks and magazines for recipes and tips, I picked up some important tips along the way, such as making sure to get enough vitamin d, and B12. This piqued my interest, which just led to more and more research, which led to researching the world wide interwebz, and eventually here right now. Still learning, but I'm done with the vitamin water, and I am done with taking a multi-vitamin.
It seemed the more research I did, the more I came to the conclusion that vegan, vegetarian, even meat eaters should be getting the majority of our vitamins and minerals from actual food. Not supplemented food, like vitamin c added to coco puffs, but vitamin c from a natural source. I was doing some reading up on this subject yesterday and the world of vitamins and supplements is seedy, shady, and in many cases full of false promises. One super scary fact I learned is that the RDA recommendations on the back of foods is from 1968. Yes, they are telling us what we need, and what percentages are in foods based on information from 1968. A lot has changed, and a lot of new information has come around since then. It's pretty scary.
What I notice is a lot of people eat unhealthily, and take tons of vitamins and supplements thinking, okay got my greens, now I can eat brown food all day.  A lot of food companies fortify their crappy foods with vitamins and minerals and sell it as healthy, and unfortunately millions of people believe it on a daily basis. And it's pretty scary because in America especially we have a more is more attitude, so for some people who are eating somewhat healthy, and then also taking supplements and drinking vitamin drinks it can be a disaster. Some vitamins have adverse health effects if too much is taken. Like beta carotene. Did you know too much can lead to lung cancer?  Another one I learned yesterday. We as woman, especially vegan woman are getting calcium pushed in our face at all times. Well, we do need calcium of course, but too much can lead to heart disease! That is scary because I know quite a few women who drink milk, and pop those chocolate calcium chews like they're candy. Think about households where milk and fortified with calcium orange juice are on regular drinking rotations.
For me personally, I take a pro-biotic, and an omega supplement, like flax. I do drink kombucha, so I could probably not take the pill form, and I have been trying to eat hempseeds and or chia seeds daily so I can wean the capsules out. I choose to trust that I'm getting what else I need from my food. I haven't been to a doctor in like eons, so I have to go with how I feel which is healthy, and strong. I feel healthier than I ever did when I was taking this vitamin, and that this and the other.
If you do take any supplements, make sure you are getting them from a trusted brand. For all of my frugal ways, vitamins are one area not to go store brand. Vitamins and supplements are not regulated in the U.S. so it's a free for all of scamation. There are tons of articles busting companies for their lies. I think I read my first article exposing these lies in the late nineties, so for whatever reason we just don't care enough to stop buying this stuff. So if you do buy vitamins, buy from a store that you trust. There are tons of websites with specific name brands that have been proven to be what they say they are. I myself look for Now Foods, Nature's Way, and one of my faves, Spectrum. I've been taking their flaxseed oil supplements for years.
I feel very strongly that while none of us are perfect, if we are preparing and eating a variety of fruits and vegetables, along with our preferably vegan grains, and proteins, we're getting what we need. Our bodies tell us when we need more of  something, if we pay attention. I think as a general diet, or health rule eating the rainbow makes the most sense. Things started getting weird when we started moving away from treating food as nourishment, and we decided to treat it almost as entertainment, and consider what our bodies actually  need after the fact.
This was much longer winded than I meant! I could write a book about my strong feelings surrounding poor nutrition. It is so frustrating! Healthy people are happier people, simple fact. It's super hard to be super peppy when you ache with pain, and your body is a toxic cesspool. I just wonder how things could change if we all started caring, and feeling better, and paying attention to what goes into our bodies. You can be blooming with health, and you don't have to eat wheatgrass or spirulina!!!!

I'm Green with Pesto

This week is what I like to call a creative cooking week. My human food budget was a little tighter, so creativity is a must. I don't really mind, some of my best tasting dishes have come by throwing what I have together, adding some seasoning, and calling it a dish.  And I can never recreate it because I don't write anything down. Well, thanks to having a blog, I'm slowly getting better about taking kitchen notes. I wanted pasta yesterday, and I had some odds and ends of some fancy olives from the olive bar, some kale, and my precious, pricey hempseeds. Could I blend these things into a chunky, hearty pesto? The answer is yes, with the help of some garlic, nutritional yeast, and seasoning. The result is a hearty, winter like pesto. Perfect for whole wheat pasta, or hearty grains like faro, or barley. It would make a great pizza sauce. It would be delicious drizzled over some roasted vegetables. It would be great slathered on a toasted baguette. What I'm trying to say is, this pesto is super delicious! I love it when I accidently make something so delicious, and I love it more when I pull it out of my arse.  Eating healthy, and super satisfying vegan food can be a simple as throwing a few scraps together, boiling some noodles, and feeding your face.
I'm sure this would work with any hearty greens like collards, or chard. It would also work with spinach of course. If you do make this, I recommend making it in the morning, or even the night before you're going to use it. The longer the garlic and olives mingle together, the better. And the great news is that kale doesn't oxidize and turn brownish the way basil does. The recipe I made yields about a cup and a half of pesto.

                                                          Kale and Hempseed Pesto

                                                            1 cup chopped kale
                                                           15 lg. mixed olives (Kalamata, olive stuffed, green)
                                                             2 minced garlic cloves
                                                             2 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
                                                              2 Tbsp. hempseeds
                                                               2 Tbsp. olive oil
                                                               Juice of half a lemon
                                                               S& P to taste
                                                               1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper (optional)

 I made mine in my blender, so I started with a little less than 1/4 cup of water, to get everything moving and grooving. If you have a food processor, just keep pulsing, and scraping the sides down till it's the texture of a chunky sauce. You might need to add more oil or water, a little at a time to make it all come together. If using a blender, start with the small amount of water, add the rest of the ingredients, and blend at a pretty high speed, (I used the smoothie setting on my blender) until you have a sauce. the texture is kind of up to you. I made mine smooth, with a little chunkage in there. You could make it smoother if you wanted to use this a more of a dipping/ drizzling sauce.
It really is tasty, and a good way to sneak greens in. The  olives, lemon and garlic are really the stars of this sauce, the kale really is there for color, and of course nutrition. This is my first time making a pesto with hempseeds, and I will use them again. The hempseeds combined with the nutritional yeast  make the pesto so rich and cheesey you don't really need a ton of oil. I mixed this pesto with some whole wheat fettuccini noodles, and it was so satisfying. So many winter meals are so heavy. This was hearty, and satisfied that winter craving, but it wasn't heavy like a casserole. I'm super glad I wrote this recipe down!

The Hulk of Teas

I used to be a hardcore caffeine addict. I started sneaking coffee from my  mom's coffee pot  when I was twelve years old. As an adult, my coffee addiction only grew. When Red Bull hit the scene, I was all in. At one point of my life, I was a barista by day, cocktail server by night. So I would drink coffee all morning, and slam at least two or three red bull to get me through the night shift. Super healthy, right?
About seven or eight years ago, I decided to say bye, bye, bye to coffee, and switch to green tea, and or yerba mate. While both of these do still have caffeine, I don't feel a slave to the caffeine the way I did with coffee. And I can easily start my  day without tea and not get a crippling headache.
I've experimented with so many different teas throughout the years, and within the last year or so I discovered Matcha green tea powder. Matcha is a high quality green tea ground into a fine powder. You whisk it with warm water, and it becomes this frothy, delicious green tea. Once you've made the tea, you can blend it in the blender for thirty seconds with a splash of your favorite plant milk for a perfect Matcha latte.
The health benefits are abundant. Matcha has vitamin c, selenium, and magnesium. Chlorophyll gives it it's rich green color. Chlorophyll is a super hulk of a detoxifier. It helps remove chemicals, and heavy metals from our bodies. It also has vitamin A, various amino acids, and even fiber!
I buy The Republic of Tea u matcha natural powder. It's a splurge for sure, but it lasts a very long time. I use no more than half a teaspoon per cup. In the winter I enjoy it warm, latte style, and in the summer it makes great iced tea. I make big pots of ice tea combining matcha, and hibiscus tea. Yum. Will I ever drink ice tea again? Anyway, if you haven't already, try adding matcha to your tea routine. I feel like I'm giving my body the good stuff.
I forgot to mention, if you find matcha a little too earthy, add a half teaspoon to your smoothies. You won't know it's there, but your body will!

Sippin on Seeds and Juice

Wow, I just made what I thought was going to be a strange tasting juice, but it is actually delicious! I made carrot, grapefruit, and ginger juice right in my blender. I added enough water at the bottom of the blender to get it going, three large ruby red grapefruits, and about an inch of ginger. I blended for under a minute, strained through a mesh strainer, and bam! Liquid sunshine! I don't know about anyone else, but oranges have been pretty pricey this year in my neck of the woods. This week my grocery had a sale on grapefruit, which led to this delicious, sunny juice. Carrot, orange ginger has always been one of my favorite juice blends, and I am happy to report that grapefruit is a great substitute citrus! The grapefruit and ginger do overpower the carrot, so next time I might try two carrots. It is a really beautiful color too. It's that orangey pink that you see around sunset on a beautiful summer night.(manifesting)
Winter is not giving up at all, so I've armed myself with an eight pound bag of ruby red grapefruit, and a bag of hempseeds.(my splurge) Hempseeds are pricey little seeds, as are all foods considered to be of the "super" variety. But I know that like Chia and flaxseed, hempseeds are very high in Omega-3 fatty acids, which are  important for your brain. when I make my Chia "elixir" which is just a tablespoon of Chia seeds, the juice of one lemon, and 16 oz. of water, I always feel a little healthier, and happier. I have tested it out multiple times, and without fail it is a mood lifter. If your feeling winter funky, I really recommend trying this drink. I try to remember to make this for myself at least twice a week. And although I love the health benefits of a big glass of green juice, nothing makes me feel zippier than a big glass of fresh squeezed citrus juice. The ginger and carrot are just an added bonus. Ginger wakes up your sinuses before you've even taken a sip. Bonus if you have kitties who like to bug you in the kitchen like I do. It's like kitty  karma, as cats hate the smell of citrus. They scrunch their little noses and squint their eyes, and leave the room in disgust. It's pretty funny, and just adds to the overall experience.
If you're dealing with the wrath of winter, stay warm, and drink juice!

These are the Moments of our Lives

I learned an important lesson yesterday that I thought I would share. My day was overall pretty craptastic. Winter rages on, toxic co-workers and even more toxic customers. But, yet today I feel much lighter than I did yesterday, and I credit my yoga practice yesterday. I've been practicing yoga for years, so yesterday achieving this pose that for years has been out of my reach really meant something to me. You see, I was really starting to feel discouraged about many things in my life, and feeling like I was fighting a useless battle. But that one little pose shifted my thinking, and I now feel like not only am I coming over that hill, but I will continue the journey. Watching all of these unhappy, unhealthy people last night just pushed me towards the light. I don't want to be them, I want to be happy, and healthy, and there are a million more yoga poses to master.
The lesson I learned is to hold on to those moments in your day that are amazing, if you hold on tight enough, they will help you battle the rest of your day. And nothing can take those moments from you, they are yours. Sometimes things happen so quickly, it's easy to forget about them, or just disregard them. I think it comes down to making a choice to focus on the good. I had a table last night at work that was so rude, and high maintenance I gag just thinking about it, and the worst part is they tipped four dollars an a forty five dollar bill. Weak. I work at a private club, so it wasn't like this was some hungry couple who were super nice, but short on cash. These are people who made a choice to be terrible, and then tip under ten percent. Usually I would have been more upset, but as Taylor Swift sings, I was able to "shake it off". I thought of how miserable they must be to be so nasty, and just chose to not let them ruin my yoga high.
Progress, not perfection!

More than Zero

I just finished yoga, and I accomplished a pose(posture?) that I have struggled with, to the point where I wondered if it would ever be in my rotation. It's a strong core/balance pose, and like I said it's a tough one. I find balancing poses to be hard especially when I'm a little down, or have things on my mind. When I realized I was not only doing it, but doing it with ease, I broke out into a big, hey it's eighty degrees and sunny smile, in spite of myself! I was feeling so defeated earlier about so many things, but now I see that I have come far. That little moment of joy meant so much, and came at a time when it was so desperately needed! Change the things I can. I can't change the weather, but I can change my attitude. And I can keep reminding myself that being loving to myself, and taking care of myself does matter, and I am improving, even if I forget to notice for awhile.
I'm high on the buzz of that unexpected feeling. I'm still getting used to accomplishing more than pounding x amount of beers, and I gotta say I like it. I like to share the good and the bad. Balance.
Stay warm, and do some yoga!

Less than Zero

I've been sitting here for two hours now, and had written a whole post, and I just sat here and deleted every last word. The truth is I am in a full blown winter funk. I can't remember the last time it's been in the double digits, and yesterday school was cancelled not because of snow, but cold temps. It's pretty bad when the schools close, because let me tell you the local yokels are pretty tough. For the most part, the teens here wear hoodies year round. Not winter coats, but hoodies. I say you are a bad ass, if you wear a hoodie in single digit temps. And everyone here has a story of the winter of insert year here. What I'm saying is, it's been brutal here.
I read a blog this morning reveling in the first signs of spring. The blogger in question is in California, so of course there were beautiful sunny pics to back up the claims. I actually cried, and felt irritated with this person. I think jealousy is more what I was feeling. I'm usually able to be happier and more positive towards people and their joy, but I guess I struggle when it comes to weather.
I truly am trying to keep my whining to a minimum, but I also have to be true to my feelings, and what I'm going through. I don't feel right painting a rosy picture when the paintbrush is dry. I love my kitties, and my life wouldn't be the same without them, but I do miss the days of being totally alone, I wouldn't even be here now. So, this week has been a week of struggle for me. I feel like keeping myself full of positive thoughts has been almost impossible. The bitter wind chills have definitely upped the feelings of isolation.
I fought myself on writing another whiny weather post. But at some point I do have to go to work, and this is how I feel today. Anything else feels false, and inauthentic. And I can't imagine I;m the only one in a winter funk, dreaming of spring.
Stay warm and cozy, and apparently at some point it will become spring.