How funny is it that I came across this video yesterday, right after I had blogged about the dreaded clothes shopping! If you have three or four minutes, you should watch this! And I love that Lena Dunham is in the clip, I love her!! That sales lady in the skit reminds me of all of the snobby woman that work at make up counters in department stores. I loathe walking by them, I always feel judged for my lack of make up and hair doing. Like I'm just so uncivilized and icky or something.
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| Thrift cardigan I love cardigans sooo much, I could be Miss Rogers! |
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| Half thrift, part Old Navy |
And yes, the skirt is the exact same skirt I had bought before, and returned. But yesterday it was an extra thirty percent off! Woot Woot! I tried on a million pairs of shorts and skirts and dresses at Value Village, and the only things that fit were NOT my style at all. I'm may be a minimalist and not overly concerned with fashion, but I'm also not trying to look like a grandma vacationing in Palm Springs either! So, I feel okay about my choice. I know I could go to other thrift stores, but for right now trying on clothes is somewhat traumatic, and I just want to be done with fitting rooms, and mirrors and all of that for awhile. Because I had an official Oprah light bulb moment yesterday when I was walking home. I realized that I need to get a grip. I need to either accept and love my body, or step up my game and change things, because obviously I've been stuck where I am for quite some time. And I realized that love and acceptance it is, because I'm not willing to do more than what I'm doing for an awesome bod! I sincerely believe that I am healthier than I've ever been in regards to my relationship with food. I eat unprocessed food eighty five to ninety percent of the time, and I leave room for some vegan treats. And I like to have some chocolate before bed. I'm not willing to give up chocolate, and I'm not willing to try something like living salt free or anything like that. And, in terms of exercise, I have really stepped up my workout game, and I walk at least one mile a day, often times more like between two and five miles a day. I try to avoid public transportation as much as possible.
I've unsubscribed to a few vegan YouTube channels that I have enjoyed, but in the end they really kind of trigger my eating disorder feelings. When I see someone who is already much thinner than me cutting out one thing after another because she wants to have a perfect lean body, when She's already lean just is not good for my way of thinking. I felt bad about food for soooooo many years of my life, I flip flopped between anorexia and bulimia for over fifteen years of my life! That's so many years of being miserable around food. It feels amazing to feel good about food, I will never take that for granted. And if it means I don't have the perfect bod, then so be it. It's going to take some work to love my current bod, but I will do it. For all I've put my body through, the fact that I'm even alive and seemingly healthy is reason enough for me to really give the old bod a pat on the back at the very least.
I am so sorry I went on and on like that, and it's not even vegan related really. I guess I needed to say that, and you guys are like my friend, or sister, or cousin or whatever. That person that you share your AhHa moments with. Anyway, after all that body shaming I did to myself yesterday, I didn't really feel like cooking, so I found a bag of chicken-less nuggets and had those for dinner. Like a sad kid, which is what I was yesterday!
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| They looks scarily real! |
Happy Monday!
I think that most women go through body image issues. I have been anorexic and almost completely ruined my health. Now I'm like you in that I try to eat healthy most of the time and add a few treats from time to time. Carry on and thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right, unfortunately. I'm glad that you recovered, and are doing well now! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
DeleteI'm going thru a bit of one right now as well! I shed 30 pounds and was feeling good for about 3 years and gained some back the last few months. I'm not feeling very good about myself at my current weight but it's more about the 'feel' than the 'look'...I, too, struggled with disordered eating for 14 years and was able to get past it for the most part but I think a spec of it always stays with you if you have faced that. This time around I am REALLY trying to focus on how I 'feel' and work toward improving that - and that alone. It seems to be helping a bit but of course seems to be taking longer but I am going to be ALRIGHT with that! :)
ReplyDeleteI love the clothes that you found! Nice!
I also LOVE Amy Schumer! I hope her career and activism continues to flourish!
I agree so much. I am really trying to focus on how i feel vs. how I look. But it is really hard for me to break my self shaming patterns.
DeleteI love Amy Schumer so much. She says things that I have been thinking for years and have been too wimpy to say!
I find what you have to say is interesting and that's enough. You are enough. There are always going to be people thinner than you, there are always going to be people heavier than you. Comparing yourself to others always sends you down a shame spiral and haven't you suffered long enough? Enough is enough. :)
ReplyDeleteVery wise words. And thank you!
DeleteI love everything in this post! Your clothes are so cute, that is a great thrift haul and how funny that you found the same skirt! I like the tanks too!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you that you've been giving yourself a break lately. I know which Youtuber you are talking about and I've stopped watching her too. I can't deal with the going from restrictive diet to restrictive diet and the promotion of unhealthy thoughts and defensiveness about it. I'm so proud of you that you've come to a good place in your relationship with food :) I agree with Beverlee, you are enough and we like you and come here to read your posts because you are you!
Thanks!
DeleteI know, I feel like she has really kind of gotten out of control, and I don't like how unable she is to see that maybe it is a little much. And she has lots of young girls that look up to her, so I do worry.
Thank you so much!
Sheesh! You do need to cut yourself some slack. You are doing good, keeping a light footprint, sharing tips with others, being a great mom...more than most people that is for sure.
ReplyDeleteThank you! And welcome back!
DeleteGreat thrifting, love what you got. I've said it lots of times but you really inspire me to keep trying stuff - I'm currently half way through a mindfulness course and it is helping. I get so mad at my body because of my chronic cough but I am learning to try to be more compassionate towards myself through this course and it is starting to work.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, that means the world to me! I'm so glad the course is working. I have battled anger at myself for my whole life for different reasons, and I swear meditation has been the only thing that has helped me to even want to be kinder t myself, let alone actually doing it!
DeleteI'm so glad you're being kinder to yourself!
Have you checked out spiceboxofearth.co.uk? It is a blog by a vegan who often writes about body positivity. She is even working on a zine called The Big Fat Vegan Zine to talk about body positivity from a vegan perspective. I love the body positivity movement, it is something we need today since I think fat shaming mostly creates eating disorders and in general makes people stressed and therefore gain more weight in an unhealthy way. But it is frustrating since body positivity views veganism as a restriction and a diet not an ethical choice. Plus I think it is important to show veganism as something that can be healthy and unhealthy because some people are actively against diet culture, and I can understand that.
ReplyDeleteI haven't, but I will. I think we need to talk about body positivity more in the vegan community. Anymore it seems like thin is the only way to be vegan. I have had people express shock that I'm not super thin because I'm vegan. Sometimes it makes me fearful to admit I'm vegan, and I feel like there is a huge part of the vegan community that I would be shunned from because I'm not super lean, and quite frankly I'm sick of trying.
DeleteI will definitely check that out, thanks!
A very long time ago i realized that thin does not equal happy.
ReplyDeleteNot all women who have a "perfect" body are happy. If anything they are likely much more unhappy than anyone else while trying to maintain such an appearance.
Be kind to yourself. You deserve to be happy NOW.
I agree. I mean, when I was very thin I was miserable, and not at all happy or grateful for or to my body at all.
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