Moving Forward

 I wanted to share some good news. This past Sunday I was feeling very alone, scared and hopeless. I felt like nothing matters. later in the day, I got a GoFundMe donation, which made me work on telling myself that I matter to someone, someone who doesn't even know me. It was enough to pull me out of that dark place. The next morning I was coming home from my walk and there were two signs in someone's lawn. One said You Matter and the other said Don't Give Up. I started crying believe it or not. I got home and felt more motivated, chipper and energetic than I have in a very, very long time. I think for me the most important feeling that I felt was hope. No matter how down on my luck I've been in the past, I've always had a glimmer of hope for brighter days. That glimmer has been gone for so long and it was killing me. 

So, later that same day I scheduled an interview for a job that pays a livable wage for me. It also is still in the customer service realm, but it's not retail or restaurant or any of those things. The company makes name tags and things like that so I think it's more dealing with companies on the phone and on the webz. It's not too far from where I live so transportation is doable. I think this can be a job that doesn't make me dread life, and pays me enough to pay bills and have a bit extra. Where every cent I have to spend isn't so scary because I don't have enough cents to go around. 

I am going to give this interview my ALL. I still feel a slight glimmer of hope and I am protecting it. 

Moving forward, I hope to start Blogging again. But it isn't going to only be about food. Veganism is a huge part of my life and always will be so this will be food forward I guess? But I also want to talk about my struggles and what I am doing to help myself with those struggles. I want to do this for a couple of reasons. The first being to hold myself accountable. It case I hate this job, I still want to be working on myself. I want to get mental health help, and I want to get some further education so I can have more choices and get some financial stability in my life. It can be easy for me to get lost in my depression, and just kind of go to work and other than that not move forward. So I think this will help. I never want to be in a low place like this again. The second reason is because I know I'm not the only person who struggles financially, with mental health and maybe even health issues. So I'm hoping maybe I'll figure something out and be able to pass that along, or even if I do actually make myself aa success maybe that can give someone else hope. Loneliness and hopelessness are two of the worst and most dangerous ways to feel. 

I guess I have a third reason to share. I want anyone who has donated to see where their donation is going. Getting to keep my home and ensure a better future are number one to me right now. 

My interview is Friday morning, so wish me luck! I will definitely report back, and hopefully this is the first of many positive changes.

My GoFundMe is here if anyone is interested. https://gofund.me/fd79a459