Letting Go.....

Today is only Wednesday, and it's the last day of 2014. I am freaking out a little bit, because so far, I am having kind of the worst week I've had in a really long time. Monday was my birthday, and there was a time in my life where I would have had an apartment full of friends, this year I spent it with my cats crying. It's like a really cliché movie from the early 2000's. I spotted Robin on my deck eating food, on Monday, so I opened the door, and he didn't just run from me, he hauled ass. Like all the way down the steps, and through the yard. None of the feral cats run from me. They keep their distance, but they know by now I won't hurt them. It has really dropped in temperature, and I am just so heartbroken. I assume he ran because he doesn't want to come back inside. As someone who deeply loves, and respects animals, I feel that I have to respect that Robin wants to be wild. But I just can't get over the strangeness of it all. At no point prior to his escape did he ever show any sign of wanting to be outside. Even in the beginning, when he was very scared of me, he still loved lounging on the bed, and the couch like a king. He seemed content from the start. My door will always be open to him if he has a change of heart, and I am always going to worry about him. There are some mean alley cats who come around to eat, and I hate thinking of Robin's sweet temperament slowly being turned by the streets. It's so horribly cold outside, it just feels like death. I remember the first episode of The Walking Dead, the city was just so deserted, and lifeless, and there was obviously a darkness. That's what winter here reminds me of. ( I no longer can watch The Walking Dead, as it got progressively more gory and graphic as the series went on. )  Anyway, thank you to anyone who sent positive vibes. At least I know that he's staying somewhat close, because he knows where the food is at, and I can't imagine that there is a lot of prey out there. I hope maybe the cold will make him remember his favorite cozy spot on the bed.
Be safe tonight!!